So much has happened over the last few months. In just a few days, my husband (?!) and I will be celebrating one month of marriage. That is absolutely absurd. One month. Marriage. What life am I leading? It is still surreal and still so amazingly wonderful. It's been truly delightful.
My best friend, Sarah, had twins. TWO babies! They are so beautiful, so sweet. They smell like fresh babies, except when they aren't super fresh and then they're so cute it's hard to mind. I am only 2 hours away, but it's hard to not see them really often. It's hard to know she's dealing with them by herself most of the time and just the hardness of being a first time mom and well, there are 2 of these girls! Working and being in school and getting married/moving stuff/being out of town, it's just been hard to actually BE THERE for her, which has been super hard for me. We text. Actually we text quite a bit, but it's not like being there to give her a break to rest or run errands or even go to the bathroom.
My other best pal, Katherine, has been having a rough while. Her regular test for cancer antigens came back elevated. Months of tests and retests and then some back pain. She went for tests the morning of some wedding festivities. She had ovaries taken out as a precaution for the elevated tests just a few days after the wedding. And all that time, hardly anyone knew what she was going through (or at least anyone at the wedding). Since then, there has been confirmation her breast cancer is back in her bones. Her freaking bones. Metastasis. Cancer sucks. (She won't really say it, so I will.) I won't really go into her story here; she has been blogging again and goes into quite a bit of detail on her own blog: http://katscloserwalk.blogspot.com/. Her faith and strength are amazing. God is really carrying her. But hard times. This is really something I cannot fix. I cannot make the cancer go away. I cannot make her back hurt less from the fracture. Two of the four weeks I have not even been in town. I found out when on my honeymoon and she got confirmation when I was on vacation. All I can do is sit by and watch and talk and text and love. That sucks so much.
So in one month of marriage, I've been extremely thankful for this man beside me as I've collapsed sobbing into him more than once. I wish I could share all the consoling words he's spoken, the way his tone comforts. I have heard this is what marriage and spouses are supposed to be like, but I haven't experienced it before. I hadn't expected to ever find someone like this. I am so glad I waited for someone whose particular way of loving and caring fits so well with my needs and aches. I will say it again and again, but he is such a gift.