Waiting for the beckoning

I have loved Charlottesville since my first visit. Before I had even seen much of town or Grounds, I actually called a friend and said that I was in love. The city fits me and feels right. It feels a lot like a high quality Nappa leather chair suppled over the years enveloping with softness and comfort. The problem with a chair like this is you sink in and before you know it, you are nodding off or are so cozy it practically takes a crane to pull you out. The motivation for getting up after it has warmed to your body is, well, you know...there is very little. 

Lately though, there has been something asking me if I'm willing to get out of the chair and telling me of the possibilities out there. Out in the world, out of the chair. It comes sometimes like a whisper and a wonder, and sometimes it barges into my thoughts and into my day, unannounced and unapologetic. 

But I am not ready. But I like it here. But I finally, finally, after all these years have friends and a community and a church and a home. I know the roads and the lingo. I know the channels corresponding to cable stations. This place--well, this place I know. And those other places...

That's the unknown.

I am coming to terms with those voices. I have been hearing them. I haven't told them to shove off lately. I even really listened a time or two. I recognize it. Speaking of knowing, that Voice I know. I do not know what--or where--the future holds, but I know that Voice and I know that His plans for me are for my good and for His glory. How Charlottesville fits in those plans, I do not know. At this moment, if life took me another direction and I packed it all up to move, I would be sad to leave my loves. But I'm leaning on trust, faith, and hope. 

Perhaps the willingness is all that is needed of me now. It certainly has taken plenty for me to get even there. To get to the place where I loosely hold this place. Well, that's a work in my heart, if ever I've seen one. This place is my beautiful, my precious. It has sometimes been an idol, not just a home. I see things differently now though. Simultaneously more muddled and more clearly. I can still feel blessed and grateful to be here and love the town deeply but also be listening out for a Voice that may have a better place and plan for my future. I am certain that at this moment, this is where He wants me. Cozied in the chair and waiting for the beckoning.