easily amused

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.

2012-02-03T00:51:00.000-05:00

Do you remember how I wanted to start a site where friends and friends of friends could post photos and blurbs about themselves (or their friends/family) so awesome singles could find each other? There's a blogger doing that for friends, strangers, countrymen. What fun posts!

My friend, Elizabeth, is included this week, thanks to her sister! What a good idea and what a wonderful post that captures who she really is. Know some singles and want to help them in their search? Consider posting for them OR sending them the original post/looking through links yourself for someone who just might be a great match.

Social aggression for the win!

2012-02-02T12:00:00.000-05:00

People, you need to hear this. Do you remember the post on social aggression? I have heard some great stories as friends and strangers tried this out. This one is worth sharing (I made slight edits and removed identity, though I was told I could include it, because this could happen to you!)

This morning in the Harris Teeter parking lot, I was practicing my social aggression. I commented on the ridiculousness of the warm weather to the man exiting his car besides me. We exchanged pleasantries and after I got in my car, he tapped on my window then proceeded to ask me if I had a boyfriend. When I said no, he asked if he could take me to dinner!

That's right! Date prospect right in the parking lot of the grocery store. Now, I'm not saying you will get asked on a date by being intentionally open and proactive with people, but you might. As I told her, you have to meet the man of your dreams somewhere. Everyone eats and shops for food. You might as well meet him while doing something so normal and usual, like putting back your shopping cart (you do that, right?) or checking the freshness of the broccoli.

So, go ahead! Go on and make friends out in this wild, wild world.

A challenge to love through words

2012-02-02T06:00:00.000-05:00

I was planning on sharing the flip side of my recent post where I shared about the glories and wonderfulness I have seen in my work with Habitat and the International Hospitality Programs. And sure, there have been a lot of difficult and disappointing moments, but there has also been so, so much good. I have seen lives positively impacted by these programs. I have seen people who fled their warring countries and built homes in America become invested in their communities and neighbors and become citizens. I have seen international students stay here and really thrive after mastering English and making America their home. I have seen students go back to their countries full of such a rich experience share that with others who apply and come live and study here. It is a beautiful thing. So why focus on the difficulties? My heart is too full for those right now. If I let them in, they take root and they give way to cynicism and pessimism. Those can lead to anger or bitterness or influence my interactions with others in these groups. So I'm choosing not to dwell on the frustrations or to even air them now, but by admitting they are there, that's enough.

I also decided to overhaul the draft of this post because something wonderful happened today. I went to the Habitat Family Advocate Board Meeting in their new office space! It is right across from the hospital so very close to work and is a great location so they have much more space and have had several folks just drop in and offer to volunteer while walking by. This is a great stretch of sidewalk between The Corner and the Downtown Mall, and I hope it will provide great visibility to one of my favorite organizations. Our meeting was packed too! First, we haven't had one since April (haha) so everyone made an effort to come. Second and more importantly, the number of families currently building or working on their credit and sweat equity is up by quite a lot! This means that amazing things are happening for Habitat. I don't have room or time to tell you about all of them, but there are some exciting things coming down the pipeline for new developments and families.

There were several new advocates, and I realized the woman sitting across from me had a familiar name when I could finally see her last name with her first as she put her name tag on the table to head out a few minutes early. She was married to the reason I came to Charlottesville! I moved here seven and a half years ago (WOW! Has it really been that long?? And I still love it?! YESSSS.) for graduate school to work with her husband. He was an amazing Professor and thinker. He was funny, intelligent, and one of the kindest and most genuine people I have known. He spoke of her adoringly, and not just because she gave him an organ and cared for him during medical issues, which hardly anyone knew much about until after his death. He just never talked about himself. He was always so concerned about and cared for others that I don't think bringing himself up ever even registered with him. He was just amazing and is so missed by so many.

I came to him to learn about marriage and family and he encouraged me in my job application process(es) and working with Habitat. He understand my draw to the organization and thought it was a worthwhile pursuit while I was taking a break from graduate school. He was always an encourager of putting words into practice and not just researching and writing but doing. And here I am over five years later still pouring a little of myself into the organization we often talked of and sitting across the table from his wife.

Since I realized who she was just after she left, I wrote her a note tonight about how amazing he was. So often we take people for granted and do not express to them or others who are close to them how amazing they are/were. This is such a shame. I always thanked him and appreciated him, though probably not as fully as I could have, but doesn't his wife deserve to know how loved he was? It has been just over four years since he passed on, but wouldn't sweet, unexpected memories always be welcome for a widow? I think so, and I wrote to share those with her. Too often my "This is random!," "What will this person think??," "Is this strange or unwelcome??" wants to get in the way.

But encouragement and affirmation, appreciating the wonderful and beautiful aspects of people...those are the types of actions and words we should never hesitate to share. Life is hard and everyone has their own challenges in the journey. Why not remind them of who they are? Remind them of the beauty in the people they love. Renew their hope and refresh their memories. Join me in this challenge to live this out, especially today. Today, let someone know how wonderful or appreciated or talented or respected or ___________ they are.

Live passionately; love well.

Unintentional awesome: Unorganized thoughts from organizing spaces

2012-01-31T07:00:00.000-05:00

(This is a lengthy post. You might need to have your caffeine first. The first half is just life and what I have been up to lately. The last half is really where we want to go together...the stuff that matters.)

It is good to be reminded that we are becoming who He is making us. It is so good to see that where I have been has brought me to where I am. Often while we are trudging or zipping through life, we are just doing and do not really see how these snippets of our life may impact our future, but looking back brings such clarity and sweetness.

I finally decided what I wanted to do with my extra room and to make the third bedroom into a short-term room for rent/guest room when not renting it out. It sounds small, but it has taken me a while to decide what to do with the two rooms and evaluating moving furniture between the two rooms, money potential, size of bed, closet in one room and not the other, etc. But I did decide, and the choice has meant that I can have the extra room for an office and craft space. This meant that I could finally put some shelves up (or something) and organize the massive amount of ~~crap~~ craft stuff I have on hand. I honestly do not think I had any idea how much craft stuff I have. It's A LOT. So glad that the first set of shelves I bought broke and I ended up going with something more than a third larger. Even then, it's tight...but maybe after my organizing spree I will actually get to use up some of it when I finally get to make pretty stuff in my neat and tidyish space. Because some had been under my bed and some in various cardboard boxes in this room, I just had no idea how much I had. (If you need something like embroidery thread, any kind of paper--which has now been sorted by color, random fabric--also sorted, beads, cotton batting, paint, tiles, etc, let me know. We can share or barter.)

Organizing and decluttering for me is never about just organizing, cleaning, or decluttering one area. I end up doing it ALL. In the past week or so, I've rearranged the furniture in this room three times, completely reorganized my bookshelves with new categories, moved stuff from my room in here, put a great old chair from a friend in for a reading area and am only using my laptop outside of the bedroom (remember...that was one of the things my doctor encouraged which was ick at the time but now is awesome since I have a fun little space to sit and type...of course, I shouldn't be typing this late but hey, let's save that discussion for another time), am actually using my desk. I bought the little desk right after moving in but have really only used it to hold more stuff on top. The room was chaotic for a while so the desk was low-priority. But since it is becoming less chaotic, I see so many possibilities for my great little desk!

The last time I was at my parents' we visited my grandfather's old store. He ran this great general store (and many, many other businesses simultaneously) before he passed away, and my family has kept it for storage (and other things...it's a complicated piece of property) for nearly twenty years. Mom said I could take a small, blue metal box that he kept some order receipts, and a small, gray 2-drawer cabinet. He kept old sales records in there. It took me a while to clean it up on Sunday, but it's now on my filing cabinet, under my printer mixing the really old with the sleek and technical. Tonight I organized all of my stationery in the drawers. All of it. I had a very full, giant plastic bin that slid under my bed. Note to self: use desk to send more cards to folks. Stationery is one of my weaknesses, and I have to put a restriction on buying. But now, it's so organized! By occasion! By size! With the correct envelopes! And it fits so perfectly in the metal drawers.

Anyway, I'm getting to the point. Now that the bin was freed up from the stationery, I tossed in pictures and mementos since high school that will get sorted later. So much better than the cardboard box they were in, and now can be slid out of sight until I have time to go through them :) I went through some old Bible studies and notes from churches in college to at least reduce how much was going under the bed for now. I found a lot of great stuff I had forgotten! While going through the binder from my summer projects, I noticed a pattern. I was on teams the two years I went that planned the weekly meetings and social events and food for the crew. Seeing notes with responsibilities I had signed up for like calling hotels, arranging meeting schedules, pricing restaurant and catering menus, etc, just reminded me of my day-to-day work life now. You have to know though that the first summer was when I was majoring in interior design and the second summer was just after I had decided that was not my life path and was changing to sociology but had not yet taken a class. Basically this type of stuff was not even on my radar as something I was interested in or that I even considered could be a potential job. How funny. I enjoyed it and loved those type of details. I just did not even know to consider it as a possibility.

A few minutes later I found notes from a Christmas conference where I had attended a session on ministering to international students. I do not remember being particularly drawn to international students then, though I have always loved to travel and learning about other cultures and people. It makes sense now; I just do not recall ever thinking about it much. I ended up volunteering with a campus organization a while after that to partner with other students for conversational English. We basically spent time talking about our lives. It was awesome. I definitely do not remember intentionally deciding to volunteer with this or to attend that session at Christmas conference. Neither seemed linked in actuality or my thoughts either. Oddly enough, the first question on the session's notes was "You could have gone to any session. Why did you pick this one?" And my answer was brief but amounted to "I don't know. It sounded interesting." Isn't it so funny how that type of answer drives us for a lot of our lives? Somehow I started volunteering with international students in Charlottesville, became the President of one of those organizations (which still makes me laugh...for many reasons), work with a bunch of international students and faculty members, and prefer to advocate for refugees and foreign families with Habitat.

I never saw any of this coming. I never set out to do this type of work or to interact with the people of the world right here. But this is where I am. But God brought me to this place. He has formed and molded me to be this person today. And I absolutely love it. I am one of the very fortunate ones who really, really, really loves what I do for a job. I adopted my dad's mentality; he always told people that when he stopped having fun [at work], he was going to quit going in. I am so blessed to have such a ridiculous amount of fun at work. I also love these very unexpected volunteer and ministering opportunities brought my way, even when I was looking so hard for other options.

It would be easy for me to say that chance had something to do with it. I know that is not the case though. I was not looking for this job. I actually was looking for another job and got an email that led me to an interview that led those folks to call me about this other job. I turned them down before hearing much about it, so convinced that it was not for me. But God prompted me to keep an open mind and within a couple of days of emails and conversations, I knew this would be an adventure and challenge I wanted to take. I did not look for a way to serve more or join a leadership group for the internationals but got an email after an event. Someone had apparently remembered conversations with me and noticed my interacting with students and asked me to join their Board. I asked a lot of questions and gave stipulations to my joining regarding the position they had in mind for me. But I joined and that was fun. Then someone left the board and I could run a different committee. And then somebody nominated me for President and people were much too excited about this. Somehow I ended up doing that last year...and the group I was doing the previous year...and the group I was doing the first year I had started. This year I did find people to take over more tasks for those two groups so I can focus on other duties and goals. Still, they elected me for another year. Somehow I have also gotten to be the computer/tech person. I certainly am not that tech savvy, but this girl knows how to work a database and pull some Word tricks from the air. I definitely never volunteered for that though (why should anyone want computer/tech information from a girl who still owns a mini-disc player?)

It would be so easy to just turn away from the road I've been on and tell God that I never asked for any of this. But what have I asked for? His will, His guidance, opportunities to serve Him and love others, more joy. I've asked for trust in Him and His ways and purposes beyond my understanding. I see now how He has been fulfilling and answering those desires. I see how He has quietly urged me to keep an open mind and to just take the next step. I did not need to leap or see the entire mountain ahead that was very no way, no how but to just trust Him and take the next step in obedience. And now that I can clearly see how these and other pieces of my past have brought me to where I am serving and working, I can also see where I was trusting and obedient along the way. I can see how he has been chipping away at me to soften the many ways I know best. I see how wonderful and completely awesome this place I am in is. I see how unintentional, on my part, my trek here. I see faithfulness and goodness, mercy and grace. I am so in awe of this life journey designed especially for me and so thankful for opportunities to recognize His work in my life tonight.

Restaurant Week: Ten and Brasserie Montiel

2012-01-30T00:35:00.003-05:00

This is a double restaurant update from Restaurant Week. The weekend choices were Ten and Brasserie Montiel.

Ten

I had heard that Ten was amazing and one of the best places in town for sushi. I had also heard that it was really expensive, which explains why I had not been yet ;) I do not think you have time to hear about all of the menu items that were tried, so I will tell you about my meal and a couple of notable bits.

(click to enlarge)

For the first course, I had the Rock Shrimp Tempura. OH MY WORD. This was really, really good. Perhaps I have just been missing shrimp, but it was excellent. The other person in my party who ordered this felt the same. So yeah, that's a definite if I go back. Thankfully, I did not get the escolar, which we found out acts as a laxative. I'vegotmybowelsjusthowIlike'emthankyouverymuch.

I got the scallop for the second course, which all of these were cucumber rolls with raw whateverislisted on top. I like scallops. But the texture of the raw scallop, which is already different than I was expecting since the waitress said the toppings made it slightly crispy--but she was wrong, and with the piece of sushi just was not something you want. Somehow it just did not go together. The taste was great, the texture was not. I tried someone's salmon, and that was really delicious.

I chose poorly for the last course. I chose the chirashi with the chef's choice. However, I must have misheard our waitress. I thought it would be pieces of sushi with all different fishes in side...chef's selections. It was a pile of rice and then big slabs of several raw fishes. Have you tried to eat a big piece of fish, that is raw and a little less easy to bite off, with chopsticks and to gather some rice with the same bite? Yeah, tricky. The taste was great, but it felt a little too complicated. Either I had to pick fish or rice, not combine, or I had to shovel one and then the other in my mouth. Eh.

I also had saké. It was just the house special so it was not flavored, which apparently you can get. It was also cold, and I hear warm is the way to have it. It was very strong and pungent. Not my favorite, but I finally tried it and drank most of the glass. Hoorah.

Some of our group was still hungry so we headed to Sweet Frog. That was the only night this week that folks left hungry. I think that says something. We definitely would have run up a huge bill on a normal night and if we had eaten until full.

Brasserie Montiel

The owner also started La Cocina Del Sol, which I remember going to several times in early 2008. It was always delicious (the Crozet one at least...only went to the Cville location once) so I was looking forward to trying this one, even though I knew it probably wouldn't be as upscale as some other choices. The restaurant was not flashy or packed, but we had great service and no trouble hearing the conversation.

(click to enlarge)

For my starter, I selected the root vegetables, which included carrots, potatoes, beets, maybe onions?, another vegetable or two? Perhaps parsnips? It was hard to tell, and I have never had parsnips so let's just say those were in it. It was supposed to have a chipotle vinaigrette, but I did not taste much chipotle. It was still very good though.

My main course is also a regular item on the menu, and I would definitely get it again. Shrimp and grits. With cheddar. And bacon. Warm, salty deliciousness. We eat grits where I'm from, but not this way and only with breakfast. I had been craving salt apparently because I nearly licked my platter. The folks who got the quesadilla got a lot of food. It seemed that with the other courses included in the meal, that the quesadilla might be slightly less than getting it on a normal night. But no, it was a large one. Both folks who got it enjoyed and ended up carrying half home for another meal.

Dessert might have been everyone's favorite. ha. One got the ganache and enjoyed the chocolatey richness. One got the ice cream with espresso and was bouncing off of the walls for a while after. The rest of us got tres leches. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeessssss. Now, that's how you do things. It was basically a very delicious cake soaked in a bunch of milk, but not a gross, soggy type of cake in milk. It had cinnamon crisps on top, which were similar to toasted coconut. There were also a couple of raspberries, a strawberry, and a chocolate covered coffee bean to the side that I mixed in. My side of the table was so happy with our choice of dessert.

This was a good meal to end the week on. I checked out their other menus and would like to go back, especially for breakfast. It was not pretentious, and looked like it would be a nice, but casual, Saturday evening out. Check it out sometime.

TMCS: I haven't forgotten

2012-01-28T00:59:00.002-05:00

(He talked about women arguing and then why they are fine in a couple of days. I told him "That's just women" about the particular type of arguing.) What is WRONG with your programming? (He also says this when I explain differences in men and women. It's hilarious. But honestly, amen, brothah. Our wiring short-circuited back in Eden, and we've not made sense to one another since.)

Nobody has as much fun at work as Andrea. No, life. No one has as much fun in life as you do. (Well, I am easily amused.)

You can't get anyone to go to Ireland with you. You can't get anyone to go to dinner with you. I don't know what's happening. Next you won't have anyone to meet with in the evenings or join you for some activities.

No one says Ra-CCOON. No one but you and Danny Devito. (Our IT co-worker to my usual TMCS co-worker. It was hilarious. Later TMCS followed with...) A [r]aCCOON has gotten into your gar-bagè. ([r] is the rolled "r". I really should just do a sound snippet of this for you because writing it isn't nearly as funny.)

You transcend time and space sometimes with your humming.

You just get weirder with time.

Oh, it's a song with whistling. Obviously it's going to be Dre's new favorite. (They call me Dre at the office. HA! You really might not believe that I'm a different person there.)

Craftivities: headband with rosettes

2012-01-28T00:39:00.000-05:00

OH YEAH! I made this headband for Sarah for Christmas after seeing it on her Pinterest board. It was relatively easy. I also made it from her boyfriend's shirt she'd ripped up to wear to my 80s party and left for me to figure out a use for it. One of my favorite things to do. After seeing how adorable it was, I knew it would be great for my friend Emily.

The basic steps:

Get awesome ripped up shirt.
Cut long strip. I made it a couple of inches wide. This is not a science so no measurements were taken.
Wrap strip around your forehead and pinch fabric where it meets. Go in a couple of inches less and cut fabric. This will be the main headband part. If you are scared, check it by wrapping as you would a headband. Only you will want it shorter so it is snug and will not slide off when you wear.
Sew ends together. A machine would be speedy, but I sewed by hand. Cathartic.
Cut another strip, maybe a little less wide. Tie a knot in the end to serve as a placeholder for the middle of the rosette.
Fold strip in half. Start winding folded strip around the knot while simultaneously twisting fabric. It may take a time or two to get a feel for how it works best for you, but this is a quick part so practice away. Basically as you twist it and go around, it will look like fold up, fold down, fold up, fold down. This makes a nice, uneven edge that is more interesting and less rigid. You will want to hold the rosette tightly as you do this or you'll end up starting all over. Keep twisting until you think your rosette is large enough. Cut.
You can either hot glue along the way or after. I have done that for my rosettes for wreaths, but since this is knit on a headband, I decided I didn't want clumpy hot glue sticking it together. I held the flower together tightly and stitched on the underside to keep layers together. No method to this...just stitch layers until it doesn't unroll on you and feels pretty secure.
Stitch rosette(s) onto headband where you made the seam in step 4.
Put it on or give it away.

You could easily make several of these in an afternoon. I have never been able to rock a headband without looking like I still belong in elementary school, but I'm willing to try it for myself soon :)

Restaurant Week: Fossett's

2012-01-25T21:59:00.000-05:00

Tonight was the ever popular Fossett's. I have tried to go to Fossett's a number of times but have not gotten a reservation during Restaurant Week. Tonight's reservation was courtesy of a former co-worker who found she could not use hers. Our reservation was for 6:15 pm, and we arrived around 6. We were warmly greeted and seated right away. There were hardly any people there most of the time we were in the dining room. They must have planned to not fill the restaurant at opening time so they would space out the courses each table was on to better manage flow. That worked nicely and led to us being very well attended. Each person who came to our table was very friendly and courteous and just on the ball. Good job, staff.

But you really go for the main event, which was this:

Click image to enlarge

If you had decided on your menu ahead of time, oh well. I did not even realize it until now when posting the image so it couldn't have been too bad ;) I just cannot remember exactly what I had since I knew it would be online for you. Whoops. A co-worker had asked me to take a picture of my meal, and I forgot even that so I was clearly very involved in my meal and crisp, just-the-right-amount-of-fruity Riesling. Oh, and that homemade regular and raisin bread they served along with their perfectly spreadable butter. That bread was a winner.

For the first course, my roommate got the tart and loved it. It was actually her top-rated dish even though she also loved her main course and dessert. I had something like the trofie for my first course, except it had another name. It was tender and delicious lamb with little potato-type pastas and a lick-your-bowl-clean sauce.

For the main course, we both ordered the trout listed under the first course (there were also only four selections in main, and not the venison with sweet potato and Brussels sprouts I had my heart set on. Obviously I was not too attached since I completely had forgotten that dish until I saw the menu image again. Actually tuna with foie gras was not on the menu either. That's okay. Whoneeds'em?) Potato encrusted! Green sauce! Soft bacon that was morel like chunks of meaty, amazing ham! Capers! Trout! It was really good. Really, really good. And yet, this was my lowest ranked dish. Not too shabby, Fossett's.

Tying with the first course for my heart was the dessert. I got the sticky toffee pudding, which was a bit like a small cake. Instead of the dates and cream, it came with a small scoop of almond ice cream that, dare I say, was better than last night's salted almond ice cream. There was also a very, very, very, very, very thin slice of pear (I think?) on top. And this all surrounded by a toffee caramel. Dreamy, right? I made a darn good decision. My back-up was a ruby red grapefruit upside-down cake with champagne sorbet. Sounded divine, but toffee wins hands-down every time so I had to go with what I know. Hannah had the frozen vanilla bean souffle because her heart speaks all-things-vanilla. She commented that it was reeeeally frozen, but when softened a bit so she could take a bite, it was quite good.

Tonight's meal was a success! It would be hard for me to rank it with Camino since they are different types of food and settings. The food at both locations was fantastic, but the environment, spaciousness, wine choices, and staff were definitely superior at Fossett's.

Restaurant Week: Camino

2012-01-24T23:59:00.000-05:00

It's Restaurant Week, one of my favorite times of the year around here. For a set price, you get to dine at some of the area's finest establishments, also known as, places I never go otherwise. I'm going to go ahead and get the questions I keep hearing out of the way: "How do you afford going to any or more than one of those dinners??" Well, contrary to popular belief, I hardly go out to dinner or lunch, unless it's $10 and under, if then. The rest of the RW month is usually good motivation for me to eat what I have in the cabinet and freezer and not go out to eat much at all. I use coupons, I budget. "Most of the menus are not vegan items! What do you eat??" Well, I eat what I want. This is a fun week for me so I go all out (as you will see below). Last RW, I still chose a lot of vegetarian dishes. Tonight, notsomuch. Another perk to the two RW's of the year for me is sharing long meals with friends. This does not happen enough.

Tonight was Camino. We went to Camino in July also and had a fantastic meal. I did not think I would have folks interested in going there again, but I was wrong. Three repeating diners, not including myself, and two newbies enjoyed another great dinner. Out of all of the restaurants I have tried during seven or eight (I lost count) Restaurant Weeks, I feel we have gotten the most food for our money here. The menu:

(click to enlarge)

For the first course, I had the croquettas. SO good. Fritters...of roasted suckling pig...and serrano ham...and the creamy sauce. DELISH. Several of us got this first course and there were zero regrets. I think someone got the lamb sausage, but I was too busy enjoying my dish to notice.

I chose the pappardelli for my pasta course because it was duck. It was good but not fantastic. Made me wish I had my pasta course from July. One got the clams/linguini and the rest got the gnocchi. The gnocchi seemed to win this round, but I cannot judge since they enjoyed it so much I didn't get a sample ;)

Smoky wood grilled third course?? Bring it. Three of us had the braised lamb shank. Holy moley! That was good stuff. It was a giant bone of lamb with meat falling sliding off of the bone. So tender, so juicy, so delicious. The potato and sweet potato ragout and the greens (not sure the type) were also very good. One got the pork, which sounded good but not amazing, and two got the rockfish, which were tasty. The portion size seemed off for this course since the lamb eaters had a ton of food and the fish and pork were much smaller. But, since I was a lamb-er, win for my plate.

Our pasta courses seemed to need some bread so we asked for ours early instead of with the third course. The dessert of the salted almond ice cream with chocolate biscotti was so indulgent and refreshing those who still had room in their bellies wished for more.

The waitress was better than the July RW but still not awesome. She seemed to really have trouble recommending a wine for me off of their somewhat extensive wine list. But I understand, twenty-threeish wines by the glass and none are "not dry" and "slightly sweet". I picked one that suited me just fine thankyouverymuch.

Recap: tonight I had pig, duck, lamb. Delightfully stuffed. We had reservations for six o'clock and left around eight-thirty. Luxury. The food was some of the best I have had in Charlottesville. But the friends make it special.

There are hardly words for this.

2012-01-24T14:00:00.000-05:00

Hard Candy Lollipops "Mr. Darcy" and "Ms. Lizzy" Earl Grey Latte flavored

My brother was impossibly cool.

2012-01-24T00:46:00.000-05:00

My brother was always so impossibly cool. He is six years, eleven months, and twenty-nine days older than I, which means there are two whole days keeping us from being seven years apart. When I entered Kindergarten, he moved onto middle school. When I "graduated" fifth grade to go to middle school, he graduated high school. That boy was easy to idolize with his his nonchalant attitude and very tall socks.

I don't remember ever having a fight growing up. I was the sweet, baby sister, and I thought he owned the world. He had no motive, except wanting alone time. I had no motive, except wanting to be around him (and his friends) day in and day out. I got a chalkboard and ~~students~~ dolls; he got the yard basketball game back.

He lettered in baseball; the letters I knew were notes on a scale and A's on report cards. Available from his uber flexible college schedule, he picked me up from middle school one day, from a Knowledge Master Open or Science Olympiad or MathCounts (or one of those other teams) meeting/practice. We were probably heading to my orthodontist appointment or somewhere equally awesome. He drove up in his sporty, black two-door with a great version of December 1963 (Oh, What a Night) pouring out of the open windows. Did he have a sun roof too? I can't remember. I can only remember that day, that song, those sunglasses. It. Was. Amazing. The only thing that would have made it better was if he had been earlier so more than the remaining eight students could see my so very cool brother. He turned the volume up when I got in the car and we practically peeled out of the parking lot. Song was on repeat all the way to our destination. Have you heard the words? So risque for a middle-schooler. Well, back then anyway. I'd glance over and then back out the window letting the wind whip my hair. I thought I was so cool. Cool by association.

He now drives a minivan and sings Hot Diggity Dog from the new Mickey Mouse Club while zipping down the highway. He is still nonchalant. He still wears dark sunglasses. He is still my epitome of cool.

More of the beckoning

2012-01-21T12:05:00.000-05:00

This morning I was catching up on the past couple of days readings from Jesus Calling. Always perfect for my day, my eyes bulged a bit when I read today's. Thinking in a whispered voice Does it know what I wrote yesterday and scheduled to post in the wee hours of this morning? Does it know what I've been thinking about? How does God DO this??

Does God know how rarely I even use the work beckon?? It is crazy, and hilarious, how perfect this is.

Waiting for the beckoning

2012-01-21T02:00:00.000-05:00

I have loved Charlottesville since my first visit. Before I had even seen much of town or Grounds, I actually called a friend and said that I was in love. The city fits me and feels right. It feels a lot like a high quality Nappa leather chair suppled over the years enveloping with softness and comfort. The problem with a chair like this is you sink in and before you know it, you are nodding off or are so cozy it practically takes a crane to pull you out. The motivation for getting up after it has warmed to your body is, well, you know...there is very little.

Lately though, there has been something asking me if I'm willing to get out of the chair and telling me of the possibilities out there. Out in the world, out of the chair. It comes sometimes like a whisper and a wonder, and sometimes it barges into my thoughts and into my day, unannounced and unapologetic.

But I am not ready. But I like it here. But I finally, finally, after all these years have friends and a community and a church and a home. I know the roads and the lingo. I know the channels corresponding to cable stations. This place--well, this place I know. And those other places...

That's the unknown.

I am coming to terms with those voices. I have been hearing them. I haven't told them to shove off lately. I even really listened a time or two. I recognize it. Speaking of knowing, that Voice I know. I do not know what--or where--the future holds, but I know that Voice and I know that His plans for me are for my good and for His glory. How Charlottesville fits in those plans, I do not know. At this moment, if life took me another direction and I packed it all up to move, I would be sad to leave my loves. But I'm leaning on trust, faith, and hope.

Perhaps the willingness is all that is needed of me now. It certainly has taken plenty for me to get even there. To get to the place where I loosely hold this place. Well, that's a work in my heart, if ever I've seen one. This place is my beautiful, my precious. It has sometimes been an idol, not just a home. I see things differently now though. Simultaneously more muddled and more clearly. I can still feel blessed and grateful to be here and love the town deeply but also be listening out for a Voice that may have a better place and plan for my future. I am certain that at this moment, this is where He wants me. Cozied in the chair and waiting for the beckoning.

Joy

2012-01-19T17:30:00.000-05:00

Joy has a funny way about it. The more piled on, the deeper it gets. Unlike most things in life, such as material possessions, schedules, sugar, dirt, the piling on of layer after layer does not lead to feeling encumbered. Counter-intuitively, more is liberating. That is the beauty of joy. The more we pile on, the freer we feel. A case when more does not equal less. The more free we are to be and love. The more we serve with immediacy and abandon. The more we act in joy, the more joy we get back. Joy gives and joy is given. And with both, we add another dose of joy. I dare you to try to give away your joy. You get so much back, you will never empty.

Sometimes the big things are the little things...

2012-01-19T06:00:00.000-05:00

Get your eye roll ready. This is what has made my day.

Finished and packaged up some bubble wrap earrings to mail very much like the ones I made before. Though these are white AND pink (no pictures). Both sets are for people who posted on my Facebook wall early last year to have me send them something handmade within the year. I did not make my mark and still have one of the five gifts left to finish, but relaxing my schedule has been a need for a while so WOO! And now these folks are going to be extra excited to receive a seemingly random gift in the mail.

Lemon pound cake and lasagna with meat + garlic bread (and yeah, some salad too). Some days you just have to go with it.

The type of conversations I've been a part of today: marriage, serving others, helping the poor, joy, goodness, sex, moving, friendship.

A friend I used to work with called to offer her reservation at Fossett's during Restaurant Week. I haven't seen her in months and months and she thought of me first after finding out she would need to cancel. (That crazed Facebook post a few weeks ago about trying to get a reservation probably helped.) Sweet though.

Picasa downloaded. Okay, okay. I know. Welcome to 2004. But I have a lot of photos and have been intimidated about storage for a while. I have folders and used to use Snapfish for uploading and ordering. LOOOOONG ago and then some other site and then just backed up on a flash drive and my UVa home directory drive and some on Picasa online. It's out of control though. I finally took step 1 of consolidating: I downloaded Picasa. I was just leery of what I wanted to do or which site to use or thinking about how I need to order a bunch of pictures (since at least 2007!) or that I should really go through the folders and pare down my digital keepsakes or figuring out if they would automatically be shared with friends or Circles or the whole world. Trepidation! Of course, it created duplicate folders somehow, but weeding those out is for another day. Steps 1-3 of photo consolidation and organization are complete.

I have been a fan of former Mayor Dave Norris for a while. He seems to be a super friendly guy. He ran some awesome City Council meetings. Yes, I watch them on tv. Yes, you can make fun of me. He does awesome things in our town, and I've been consistently impressed. I friended him on Facebook a while ago, which has been a good decision (he says funny and insightful stuff and has cute kids). He took that on as part of his role as Mayor...you know, communicating with The People. He loves the poor and really strives to work for social change in our area. He is one of the major supporters of Habitat and has been working for a long time to help link Habitat with organizations and donors and options for land purchase and donation. He is a great promoter and cheerleader for this organization. (He walked over to thank me at one of the house dedications for the work I do with them. His words were too generous, but his gesture was appreciated.) He has done many other good things, but his new endeavor will be along these same lines. Doing good in our community...with the help of UVa faculty, staff, students. He is launching a new organization, The Charlottesville Institute for University-Community Engagement. Follow along with me. I am sure we will be seeing a lot of the Charlottesville Institute in the future.

Marriage, money, and phone plans

2012-01-18T17:00:00.000-05:00

There are smartphones out there for $699.99 (and probably more) that you can purchase for maybe $199 for a 2 year contract or $269 for a 1 year contract. There are still people who will purchase the phone for the full price because they cannot commit to one or more years. And this is why our credit card debt is through the roof, people have no savings, and marriage rates are current lowest of all recorded time. Of course, I mean not just buying a phone...just the mentality of people.

Tuesday's good choices are few

2012-01-17T19:25:00.000-05:00

On days I might be too tempted to focus on the endless ways I mess up or do not do what I wish I would do and do what I wish I didn't, it is important to assess the good that I did and am. Today's good choices include:

no coffee or soft drinks but tea and water
not saying something I really wanted to say (several times...definitely a bite your tongue kind of day)
read a bit of The Hobbit

Yep, that's all I've got. But today, I am going to let that be enough.

Friends of Friends

2012-01-16T00:54:00.000-05:00

The other day, I tried to auction off a date with my adorable friend, Maggie, on Twitter. This is Maggie (also infamous interviewee of the How to Win Friends and Win at Life). HI MAGGIE!

I probably should have told her that I was going to auction off dates with her. No matter though. All of my followers are women, or married folks, or random news people. And the winning bid (starting at $100, because, hello! She's awesome!) would obviously go to charity...or the date...or something spectacular. But, this got me thinking. Or re-oiled the wheels of something I'd thought about in the past but now it really seemed like a darn good idea.

I have a lot of friends (relatively speaking, of course). A lot of my friends have a lot of friends. I estimate about 25-30% of mine are single and maybe yours too. And these are awesome people. I know I love my friends and when I've met my friends' friends, I happen to think they're terrific too. We should network. Move over Match.com, I've been scheming and am introducing Friends of Friends.

Friends of Friends will be like Facebook. Only it will just have single people, only awesome people, and only friends and friends of friends. There will be no games that allow you to farm or bake pizzas or give someone virtual sea animals. Just connecting with friends of friends to see if there's a spark. It will always be free because...that's how friends do. I will probably make my fortune through ads anyway. Simple, tasteful, non-flash ads. And you know that option on Facebook to suggest friends to someone? I totally will have that. It's going to be amazing.

PS I use a lot of parentheses. Don't hold that against me. Just hear it in a hush-hush tone.

The modern and the classic

2012-01-11T13:56:00.001-05:00

I recently finished the popular The Shack. I couldn't finish quick enough. Not because it was so gripping, but because I was so annoyed and uninterested. The one part that I did actually like was the initial explanation of the Trinity and in some of the Trinity's interactions. Otherwise, bleh. I intended to tell people to just skip it, though I suppose I should let you decide for yourselves :)

On a more positive note, I'm still working through Shakespeare. Here is one of my favorite sonnets (so far).

Sonnet 73: That time of year thou mayst in me behold

That time of year thou mayst in me behold
When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
Bare ruin'd choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.
In me thou seest the twilight of such day
As after sunset fadeth in the west,
Which by and by black night doth take away,
Death's second self, that seals up all in rest.
In me thou see'st the glowing of such fire
That on the ashes of his youth doth lie,
As the death-bed whereon it must expire
Consumed with that which it was nourish'd by.
This thou perceivest, which makes thy love more strong,
To love that well which thou must leave ere long.

"Make good choices!"

2012-01-10T00:00:00.003-05:00

As reflected in some previous posts, I clearly have had a complex over life decisions. Some seem so big and monumental that I keep them for a short time and then are tossed by the wayside, maybe to be picked up for a few days here and there in the future. In the meantime, I care some guilt over my inability to keep up with these actions and ways of life. I live in the guilt and lack of being today who I might like to be. But that is ridiculous. It's why I have always tried to live more by goals than resolutions. Resolutions seem so defeating, but goals give me something to shoot for.

For a while, I have been living with the knowledge and hope that I am not who I was. I do not have to feel defeat or shame for failing to live up to my expectations in the past. I do not have to see part of the past as something I am a victim of. Life is not what is done to you. Life is a choice. Certainly people may disappoint or betray you or act toward you in a less-than ideal way. Certainly they may hurt you and you may find yourself in situations and circumstances you did not choose. But you can choose how you react. You can choose how you view the past from your current perspective. You can choose to allow yourself grace. You can do the same for the present and future. Knowing that I cannot possibly do everything my doctor has recommended each day, I am welcoming a day by telling myself to make good choices. I get in the shower and think about the day and what is already planned and what may happen or get in the way. I tell myself to make good choices. I say this throughout the day. It is okay if you don't choose everything that is ideal, but make good choices. You can say this as you work or eat or live or do push-ups or smile or watch TV as if doing each of those things for God.

At the end of the day, I now like to recount, not my flub-ups, but the good choices I have made that day. These are items I can be thankful for and some are relatively small. Some are choices I may normally make but end up on the good choices list that day as perhaps the circumstance or attitude prior to the choice was off kilter (e.g. Maybe I did push-ups daily and did today too but really wanted to be lazy and fought that urge). Instead of thinking about where I might like to be in the future, I am focusing on what I can do today. Maybe I wish I could do 75 push-ups, but today I can work toward it by doing 5. (Push-ups are not actually one of my current list items, but seemed like a good example.) Even though doing 5 might have made me feel sad about not being able to do 75, I can still do 5 and choosing to do it instead of just giving up is a positive step in the right direction.

I'm choosing to live in that. It is how we grow. It is how we have new life breathed into us. It is how we regenerate. Whoever I am today, I was not yesterday. Whoever I am today, I will not be tomorrow. How are you making strides to who you would like to be? What good choices did you make or are you making today?

Today, my good choices are:

1) I got up after fewer alarms than usual.

2) I walked from my parking spot instead of taking the bus to the office.

3) I drank this bleh grape and apple cider vinegar drink.

4) I took leftovers to work and had the same for dinner at home.

5) I came straight home after work.

6) After the news, dinner, and Jeopardy, I spent the rest of the evening reading (Shakespeare, Bible study, etc) with low-lighting until ready to go to bed.

REM overdrive

2012-01-08T17:36:00.000-05:00

You people are going to think I'm so crazy. I am going to tell you about an update regarding my sleep but will probably keep telling you other things like this. Is it blog-worthy? Do people like reading this kind of stuff? Well, this is what I've got. (While reading, may I recommend you listen to a favorite? Barenaked Ladies Who Needs Sleep? Please excuse flutist Steven somewhat gyrating around in the beginning.)

For my entire life, I recall having such long, insane, and vivid dreams. When I would tell people what I dreamed, they would reply that there was no way my dreams were that intense or detailed and for goodness sakes, they couldn't be that long. This happened allllll the time. All of it. Since grounding while sleeping, my dreams seem as intense and vivid as they ever have. Also since grounding, I wake up feeling like I WANT MORE SLEEP!!! NO IT CAN'T BE MORNING! I HAVEN'T SLEPT AT ALL! HOW HAVE FIVE (or 9) ALARMS ALREADY SOUNDED?! It is so jarring. I've always been a deep sleeper and just crave more and have said in the past that it was because I was so active during the night fighting dragons and surfing waves and frolicking in meadows. I get rolled eyes and am told I need more discipline.

The past months, I have made huge strides in forcing myself to have more restful evenings, leaving the laptop in the living room or not spending a lot of time in the while before bed organizing or doing stuff on the computer. I turned Facebook chat off because I did not need to keep getting into conversations with people while I was just on for a few to check a message. I do some stretches and try to go to bed earlier. Big strides for me. I definitely have better energy during the day thanks to all of the plants I've been eating and the extra hours of sleep (well, getting what I should be anyway). The grounding makes me feel like I am sinking into a deep sleep and breathe a little slower and more deeply. It is so hard to describe how it feels or changes I've seen. But this is only about sleep so I'm moving on! I told my doctor about the coma I feel like I'm waking from every morning and he suggested I check out that sleeping machine. (See previous entry)

It is so neat! I've only used it two nights since I had to wait for it to arrive and then charge the first night. Only time will tell if my suspicions are true, but I think I know why I have such a hard time waking up in the morning. I sleep so deeply and actively and have hardly any light sleep, especially in the morning hours. I think I'm always waking up from this deep or REM sleep and not a lighter part of the cycle. Groggy, jarred, neurons not firing as usual. Apparently the sleep machine senses it too because this morning it went off when I was in REM sleep. I think it gave up because I kept going in and out of REM and there was not really a "good" time for it to sound my alarm. (sidenote: this also meant I was SO sleepy still and ended up taking off the headband and sleeping for another hour or so. Everything seems so irrational when I first wake up and nothing makes sense or is logical. I'll try not to scream at my pretty and fancy new machine.)

Most people have about 20-25% of their sleep as REM or about 90-120 minutes for 8 hours. I am such an overachieving dreamer (didn't I always know that?). Nearly 40% of my sleep both nights was REM, and last night was 193 minutes for about an 8 hour sleep session. Most cycles of REM last 11-25 minutes for more, normal folks. As you can see, I had a cycle for 40 minutes and another about 50 minutes of REM. When it's time to dream, I am all in.

I shifted around in the bed for a few after putting on the headband and including that in the 4 minutes it took me to fall asleep, I was basically out as soon as I hit the pillow. That's another thing I'm used to. I cannot pray before getting in bed because it takes me little to no time to fall asleep. Basically the little bit of research I've done means I...need...more...sleep. Hard to admit that but it's what I knew I needed to shoot for anyway. I have been resigning myself to the fact that I will not get as much done in the evenings since I need to start going to bed earlier to get more sleep. Lots of time in REM could also mean I need more restful evenings and early sleep times. Looking forward to seeing how this week's sleep compares!

Embracing the darkness

2012-01-05T23:11:00.000-05:00

I went back to my favorite doctor this week. I don't know why I go in thinking we're going to talk about how poorly I've followed all of the many ways we are tackling my health and well-being. I feel like part of the session is going to be me venting and admitting all of my many failures. I expect that he'll nod knowingly and tell me all of the ways I can do better and that I won't fix my problems by screwing up these things I'm supposed to be trying. But it's never been like that with him. It's bundles of grace and encouragement. It's him listening to my answers to his questions and telling me the results my body is giving is what he expected and hoped for. He smiles, he tells me I have done well and to keep it up, and then he tells me as it becomes part of my life what we should expect to see over time. This is goodness and grace. It's unexpected and sort of amazing.

Well, I told you about the grounding/earthing and that it makes me sleep like no other. He completely understood that and expected it. haha I would have liked a heads-up. I thought I was doing poorly because I was going to bed 2-3 hours before my previous bedtime and still waking up from another world in the morning. Of course, I'm not going to tell you what time it is now while writing or why my sleep habits are so poor this week. We talked about our ancestors and the digital age. He understood the deep sleep thing. Hooray, it's not all been in my head! He even called it slumbering, which was perfect because that is what it feels like. Everyday when I wake up, it feels so surreal. To work on this, because apparently I still need more sleep and actually earlier sleep, we are implementing more crazy into my life. This should be fairly easy to keep up with. A nifty little machine has been ordered and arrived. It looks like a fancy alarm clock but a band goes around your head/forehead while sleeping and it tracks your sleep patterns. It will wake you up either at your time you need to get up or preferably after your REM stage before the sleep cycle starts over. Hopefully tracking my sleep can give me a better idea about things I might be doing during the day that give me too much energy when it's time for bed and we can see how many cycles I'm going through. If it wakes me after the 2nd REM cycle but before I've entered the cycle again, I should theoretically feel better than if I had just slept an extra hour but in stage 1. I'm going to just assume you know about sleep cycles and needing to wake up between them. And I'm going to go to bed looking like a dork, sleeping on my plugged in grounding sheet and a big ole headband around my forehead. Going to bed is weird and surreal; waking up is weird and surreal. Embrace.

We discussed how our forefathers lives and how I am more of a night person. But I need sleep and rest and earlier sleep so I am taking cues from this winter darkness. I embraced the darkness through advent, and now I continue to embrace another darkness. At least a couple of nights a week I should leave the lights off when I get home from work. Cook and eat dinner by candlelight. Wash dishes by candlelight. (AHAHA are you with me? My life is getting so strange.) By the time that is over and the darkness is settling in, I should feel more than ready to go to sleep. The hormones that regulate circadian rhythms should be in shock and resetting. I should barely be able to read a few pages and should be ready to drift off, even before primetime shows. That seems insane to me. NINE O'CLOCK!?! Naturally I would be up until probably 2. My recently more intentionally disciplined self worked on going to sleep by 11 and then 10:30. Now I'm shooting for earlier and really early (ideally 2 nights a week by 8 or 9 or. even. earlier.--hahahahahahahaha). I have no idea or much confidence that I can do this. I'm really going to try though. Embrace the darkness. So I'm going to lounge around home with just candlelight a few nights a week and then sleep with some fancy gadget around my forehead. All in the name of sleep.

In case you're wondering what in the world this has to do with the rest of everything, there are a gazillion types of hormones in the body that control every process. Everything I am doing is supposed to retrain hormones so there is a lovely domino effect and all works well together. We're dealing with root causes and system changes, not just symptoms and small effects. Sleep has so much to do with how our bodies work and heal. My grace right now is darkness, and I'm embracing it.

regenerate

2012-01-05T20:53:00.001-05:00

There are a lot of blogs and posts of people choosing a word for the year. I took on Intentional Awesomeness a few years ago and have been putting it into my days since. Last year, I was all about putting on a heap of Hope. I intend to keep hoping (who wants to lose hope, afterall?) but also to expand to a new way of life this year too. If I were to choose a word for this year, it would be

I love this definition and many of the synonyms (emphasis from an online dictionary, not Andrea) and think it is only a natural extension of hope. To me it speaks: hope, transformation, presence, adventure, becoming, change. Here's to Regenerate.

Ridiculous things my co-worker says

2012-01-04T13:52:00.000-05:00

(Another co-worker says she goes to sleep by 8:30 and falls asleep fast, before saying Amen on the prayers.) Well, that's cool. You never close out your prayers so God is *hand to ear* listening out to you all day. Don't you fall asleep on Jesus!
______________________________________________________________
I am a gypsy king.
______________________________________________________________
You should be the script writer for the WWE. No one talks better smack than you. You have been waiting to find out what you were sent here to do, and I, like an Archangelist*, have been given the task of telling you what your purpose in life is.

*probably not a real word

It. Is. A. NEW. YEAR!

2012-01-03T00:32:00.000-05:00

It is a new year, people. Twenty-twelve. I can hardly believe it or calm myself down. What is in store?? I love this time of year, but I guess I'm just realizing now how much. Or maybe this hope and life and all the assessing where I've been and gratitude for not being there any longer and for where I am currently...maybe all of it gives me new gusto for this new day. Or it could be these crazy vitamins and earthing and all sorts of things. (more on that in my next post) Here are a couple of reasons I am excited about this year that have little to do with me:

It is an election year...a presidential election year. We can have the same or someone new but for some reason, I always like to think about the possibility. It's like discussing platforms and holding debates sparks something in politicians to think about change and leadership. Hopefully they reflect going into an election as we have been doing while 2011 wrapped up. I like the not knowing. I secretly like the debates and conversation between people and on tv. I ~~don't always~~ rarely know what's going on and stances on issues, but I like this hashing out of ideas.
It is a LEAP YEAR! C'mon...these don't happen every day. Super fun. I'm already thinking there should be a party. It's on a Wednesday. Do we welcome it on Tuesday or usher it out on Wednesday?
THE OLYMPICS ARE THIS YEAR! Yes! Summer Olympics. In LONDON. I really want to research some tickets, fly on over, and go to a few events. Is this crazy? Eh. Would anyone want to go? Can I travel alone? Which events would I choose? Would I drain my bank account? Would they let me on the gymnastics team or track? U-S-A! U-S-A! *crowd roars* A hush goes over, Chariots of Fire starts playing...You know...all of the usual thoughts.
The Mayans and some others have said the world is going to end. Well, maybe? I mean, we don't know the day or the hour so we might as well pump it up for 2012 and go out with the bang or just keep on going. Live as if this is your last year (or day).

I, (state name), hereby resolve to live each day with purpose and presence.

Murder, race, the church

2011-12-31T18:00:00.000-05:00

My mind is always racing for patterns and applicability when I read or watch a movie or have a discussion. I seem unable to run away from relating to eh-veh-ry-thing. This kept happening throughout a recent read, Native Son by Richard Wright. It is on my giant classics list of to-reads, but I did not expect much from it. I anticipated that I would "get through" it and move on. But...the book was captivating. It pulls you in. It feels so wrong to say that because the scintillation stems from murder, but the writing was fluid and raw. The drama was high and the compassion unmet. The friction between the races could set a house ablaze. Bits were repetitious and the court bit in the last part (book 3) was often annoying, but those things aside, I can see why this book made a list of classics. It is not a happy book, by any means, so I doubt you would put it in your "like" pile or pass off to a friend soliciting book recommendations via a Facebook post (there are a lot of those these days, aren't there?). Still, quality and emotive writing.

Now that I've summed up the overall, there was a portion about three-fourths of the way through that drew me to tears. Hot, angry, frustrated tears. A pastor visits the protagonist, Bigger Thomas, after the crimes and arrest and pushes forgiveness and prayer. Bigger's mom also came and cried redemption and grace and giving it all to God. She pleads--PLEADS--for his repentance. He already acknowledges his guilt, but he is not sorry for his actions and seems to be filled with apathy. But intertwined with this, there are others who are yelling insults and racial slurs. They, too, keep a cross. Their cross is not around their necks but is wooden and fiery. Bigger looks between the pastor's shiny cross necklace and the flaming cross of the Ku Klux Klan with confusion, hatred, questioning, and ill resolve. And Bigger, I hate it too. I don't wonder how you toss God aside when some who claim Him shout how much less of a human you are and spout disgusting and vicious lines while apparently getting these views from God Almighty. Well, I just think my Prince of Peace is furious over the hate we spread and the hurt we inflict. This juxtaposition between that scandalous, pursuant grace filled with invitation, redemption, and hope and that loathing abomination devoid of any sliver of good which completely debilitates.

Of course, we know that we aren't just spreading hate through race relations. And we spread it under our breath and with looks of contempt. There are many who claim Christ and hold onto these attitudes. They don't reflect the fullness of God. I don't. So no, I'm not that surprised when folks turn from God after having horrid experiences with churches and with Christians. I've had some myself. But we fail individually and collectively and need to start admitting this and moving toward peace and love and seeing and embracing others as He would. Many do and show Christ as He really is. But many don't. I had written most of this before today, but today, I finish as I reflect on a conversation I had last night.

Last night I got to help serve dinner to and play games with some homeless men in the area with folks from my church. It was a really lovely time getting to know other members of my church, and preparing meals for these men. One man pegged me as his friend basically upon entering the building. So when I was looking for a place to sit to eat with them, he yelled and waved me over. When it was time to play checkers, we had a face-off. We had good conversation as I learned a bit more about his life. At some point, we talked about this church and that I attend and all of his hurts with the church. Later we talked about how he prefers this town now compared to thirty years ago, and it all amounted to race relations. I won't share everything, but it was so interesting how this recent read practically jumped into reality. This man had been to prison too. There were other similarities, but I pray that as he goes between the churches hosting the homeless this season that he continually sees love, acceptance, hope. I pray that we show him more of Christ and less of ourselves. I pray that I show others more of Chris and less of me. I have many hopes for myself for 2012, but if none but this one come to fruition, so be it.

More on friend-making

2011-12-27T12:43:00.001-05:00

As you may remember, there have been some posts regarding the making of friends, but the recent interview with Ms. Stein was the most "Go get 'em! Make you some friends!" of the bunch. This post came through one of the blogs I follow this morning, and I love it. It speaks of the same sorts of things, but from an introvert perspective. I can't tell you how many times I heard that my "friend-making" tactics were great...for an outgoing extrovert, but did nothing for introverts. Au contraire. I happen to know that a couple of my introvert friends took that interview post to heart and have been actively seeking out people and intentionally making friends. It's a beautiful thing. This post reiterates those points in a lovely way. Read on (kept links in tact and linked to the original post but omitted photos for space)

On Friendship

Our closest couple friends just drove away from our house. For the last time.

Greg and Caroline have only been here two years and are already moving states away. Lucky for me we have the internet. But, Caroline left me with much more than funny memories of battery operated toothbrushes for a science fair and plans to hang out with our husbands at the cottage. Caroline, my introverted friend taught me how to be intentional about friendship.

I thought about it the other day and it’s kind of embarrassing but about 90% of my friends here in town came about somehow from knowing both Caroline and Greg. These two are like epoxy for people. You can read more about how Greg thinks about friends here it’s worth the click. But right now I want to tell you about a few things I learned from Caroline…also known as::

Lessons I learned about friendship from a fellow introvert.

Within weeks of moving here Caroline sent an email out to all of the women who were student leaders {her husband was the new student pastor at our church} and all of the wives of the men who were student leaders {that would be me}. I remember thinking “Wow, what a go-getter, proactive, thing to do, I bet this girl is a major extrovert, she’s gonna think I’m weird and quiet.” Much to my surprise, Caroline turned out to be a mellow, laid back, use-her-words-sparingly-and-wisely kind of person. I was instantly drawn to her because she didn’t try to pretend she had a big personality, she was perfectly comfortable with who she was.

As time passed she initiated more get togethers. She sent out emails to the group about dinner and movies, hay rides and a cookie exchange. I assumed she must love planning things and going to get togethers–I’m always amazed that people like that exist. Which brings me to my first lesson in friend making.

If you want friends you have to spend time with people you don’t know, in order to get to know them so that they can be your friends.

I know what you are thinking–that’s obvious. It is obvious. But it’s really hard to do for some of us. Ok, for me.

Just the other day I found out how much Caroline dreaded going to that cookie exchange–the one she planned– two years ago. I remember dreading going too. But I went and I was glad I did. However, I was shocked and also oddly thrilled to find out that the planner of the event was dreading it as well. I’ve always assumed that the people who plan stuff like cookie exchanges are all hopped up on how fun it is to be surrounded by a group of women that don’t necessarily know each other that well. Hmmm, maybe people put the effort to plan something not because that thing is their idea of fun, but because they know the outcome will be worth it. It was worth it for Caroline to plan something because she knew that the risk and awkwardness would one day pay off with friends.

The fact is for some of us it seems like to risky a chore to initiate but, I’m learning that if I want friends, it’s worth the risk.

I snagged all these square photos from Caroline’s instagram stream. lovely. aren’t they?

I noticed one other thing about Caroline that I thought I’d share::

Say yes

Caroline said “yes” to pretty much everything I asked her to do with me. Dinner? Sure. I’m having a Blessings Unlimited Gathering at my house want to come? Yep. Wanna go to I heart Thirfting Day with me? and by the way we are all gonna wear this same T-shirt? Sure. Wanna go to the pool with our kids? Ok. How about we both go to the Relevant Conference and we have to take a plane which we both hate? M’kay. Want to go to the cottage for the weekend with us right after you were gone away from your four children the weekend before? We’re in.

Relevant Conference with Nester, Tiny Twig, Melissa, Caroline, Melissa and Ellen

Caroline reminded me that sometimes all it takes to make time for friends is to say Yes. I never say yes to something I really don’t want to do but, I won’t say “no” just because it’s uncomfortable for me. Especially if I’m in a season of needing to make friends.

Even though I’m an introvert, I still love people, I just hate the small talk it can sometimes take that leads to the big talk that leads to real friendship. I’m really grateful to Caroline for showing me how to be true to my introverted self while making friends.

***

For this year one of my goals is to set up some “automatic ways” to put myself in friendship building situations, I’ll be glad to tell you more than you want to know about that in my next post here at (in)courage. What about you? Am I the only sorry person who makes friendship goals?

To Christmas is To See

2011-12-24T14:24:00.001-05:00

Most of this season-the chill and the charity-fills with wonder. Awe and specialness, open eyes and open hearts. Pretty bows on crisp, bright paper. Trees decorated just-so while lights dot nearly every window on the street and fill the night sky.

But I am also reminded that it is not just about the miracle of a virgin birth. It is not just about the magicalness of the wise men's starlit path and being drawn to Bethlehem. It is not just the humility and lowliness of an animal stall bearing the born King. I am reminded that the Word, which is God and is from the beginning of time, became flesh and came to live with us. We see His glory, the glory that can only come from the Son of God, full of grace and truth. And He came here for me, because without His coming, I could not see.

(Ref several verses--esp. John)

Plug me in

2011-12-21T15:48:00.000-05:00

I posted a couple of weeks ago about new changes my doctor is prescribing. I still haven't integrated all of the changes from my first visit back to him, but I'm making good steps. I also have mentioned needing support and accountability so I thought it would be a good opportunity to update you on progress, which is to say this is as much for me as anything. I am saying "no" a lot more often for the so many social things I want to be a part of to allow time to rest and plan food and do some yoga and use all of the new vitamin and mineral strategies. I am going to bed earlier these days. So early for me, though not yet meeting the ultimate goal. My energy level has increased during the day. Just as I am typing this, I realize I have forgotten my vitamin D for the past 3 days...must remember to pack for vacation. I can still see my many failings and times I forget all the many items on the list, but I'm not letting much of that bother me. That, too, is real progress. A good blog post about this was recently linked from A Holy Experience email/blog posts. It speaks to me as I seek more presence, less perfection. I recognize quite often how I lack perfection, but some of us seek perfection or the end of to-do lists or to-be lists more than others. I want to release my tendency to be one of those. I want to be more relaxed and in tune with my world, my people, my self, my God. This is a side point for this post and could/should really be one of its own since it's not the real reason for writing now. I wanted to report about the grounding.

I knew that the grounding sheet might give me slight tingles the first few nights, and it did. I was also told that part of its results would be more restful sleep. In my mind, that meant I would be waking up raring to go, which is unusual for me. haha However, the past twelve nights, I have slept SO deeply. I don't even know how to describe it. I am normally a pretty deep sleeper and do not take much time falling to sleep once tired but have trouble waking out of my slumber. Grounding hasn't yet made me wake up ready for the world, and I still take time to warm up to being woken. It has taken me less time to get to that point though. Instead of an hour or so to want to interact with the world, it's down to maybe 20-30 minutes. Of course, I still use my many alarms so you still have to count that :) But the really, really deep sleep...that's unusual, even for me. It feels almost like I am waking up from another world or like what a coma might be (though I doubt one feels very rested coming out of a coma). It's a strange sort of feeling, but not bad. Initially I thought it may be from getting more hours of sleep, but I had been doing that mostly the previous month too and did not have this feeling. It is by far the deepest sleep I have ever had in my life, and I didn't think I even had a problem with sleeping deeply.

I also noticed that right away, my dream life went into hyperdrive. I have always had very vivid and strange dreams and remember them more when I have had sufficient rest. For the last few years, they have been off and on. Pretty much as soon as starting to sleep with the grounding sheet, I started having ridiculous dreams, like traveling to Alaska to beg Sarah Palin to give me back my polar bear and that was a tame one. I attributed it to more or better sleep, until last night while reading the book that came with the grounding products, I read some people's notes of their before and afters. Several had included that their dream life basically exploded. Some recounted what they dreamed, and I can totally relate. Mine have been that wild and crazy. Unexpected side effect of grounding during sleep.

Apparently it takes a few months for grounding to really take effect (and all of the other regimens). That is I think a disappointment and benefit to natural medicine. It takes longer for change than chemically induced action. I am okay with this though, and I'm more okay these days with some of the unconventional methods. They seem ridiculous to a lot of people because they do not involve pharmaceutical drugs, but shouldn't that just show us a little more how twisted our society has become? We prefer to take a pill for a lot of things than to go have some sunshine or tweak what we are eating or exercise. We prefer to drive to the gym than walk as a means of transportation for close distance destinations. Anyway, this is an aside to the crazy I'm embracing. I have no idea if these treatments will actually "fix" me, but I do know that they have already started making a difference in how I feel and during times I have no control over (sleeping). So, that's where I am.

Less heeding for less reading

2011-12-16T21:45:00.001-05:00

I just realized I am about four books behind last year's total, but I have had some heady reading. I've been working through Saint Augustine's Confessions off and on this year and hope to finish before the end of the month. I have a couple of other important books to work through though so I may just have to shrug my shoulders and brush it off. And new-Andrea can do that. (Wait...can't I?) Nevermind the fact that I haven't cleaned or straightened up some of my rooms in a while and that I'm working on being okay with that. I'm living more in the moment and not necessarily crossing everything off of my lists. That's a positive thing (for me). I'm working on doing less to be more. More present in my presence. My favorite part of Good Housekeeping now is just a few words...just a tiny title for a feature out of the many pages: Good (Enough) Housekeeping. I don't need perfection or to cross everything off of my list today. Good enough. Good enough. I also had as a goal to work through a majority of several authors, including Shakespeare. I still have most of the history plays, but have finished all of the comedies and tragedies. Woo! That's a huge undertaking. I have been working through his looooads of poetry and sonnets and am about 40% complete. Shakespeare, did you ever put your pen down?! How much do I remember or understand? Meh. And I'm okay with that. So, don't quiz me. It's taken me thirty years to let go a bit and not cross everything off of my very many lists A-S-A-P. I still starred some sonnets and chuckled at some word choices. I'm still reading everything of probably the greatest writer (in English). And I'm okay with not recollecting ~~all~~... ~~most~~... hardly any. I'm okay readjusting my expectations for myself. And I'm okay with how many contractions I've used in this post.

I used to throw dinner parties, but

2011-12-16T20:00:00.031-05:00

so I backed off. It's too nerve-wracking these days. I eat weird things. I eat strange combinations. Would anyone like these recipes they didn't grow up with? There is no meat in the loaf! If men are invited, will they leave full and happy? Which friends would eat, drink, and be merry with a plate full of nutritional yeast, seitan, beets? Can I interest you in brownies made with black beans? But then I realize this isn't quite the point of inviting people to share my table. Maybe I'll put a dinner party on the winter 2012 calendar.

Advent-ure

2011-12-16T16:30:00.003-05:00

Andrea, walking in darkness,
has seen a great light;
on Andrea, who lived in the land of deep darkness,
a light has dawned.
Isaiah 9:2

Favorite Christmas hymn re-emphasized

2011-12-14T18:43:00.000-05:00

This is how O Holy Night sounds in my head:

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world-----in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope! the weary soul rejoices!
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here came the wise men from Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger,
In all our trials born to be our Friend!
He knows our need; to our weakness is no stranger.
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name!
Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever
! His pow'r and glory evermore proclaim!

! His pow'r and glory evermore proclaim!

How to Win Friends and Win at Life

2011-12-09T04:22:00.003-05:00

"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen." Rod McKuen...and Maggie Stein

As I have said on here before, I am slightly shy. I'm reserved in big groups of strangers mingling. The times I really put myself out there were not always pleasant. But some people do this really well. I love people and getting to meet new people. I really love getting to know them and those little quirks about them and connecting them to other people they may have something in common with. That's just delightful. In order to meet people and get to know them, well, it helps if you can just be an initiator and meet and greet without reservation.

One of the most fun people I know is so great at this. She is amazing at cheerfully greeting people, enduring and enjoying the awkward small talk and nervous habits of those she meets, relating with them and connecting with them in the future. She's basically a rockstar at this friend thing. She could have written How to Win Friends and Influence People. She's electric...and the boogie woogie woogie. Enough talking about how awesome Maggie is (but seriously...I may not be the one who loves her most, but I am the President of her fan club), at one point she mentioned being socially aggressive. What a revelation. My boss says that (at work) I am politely in your face. These two phrases are very similar and I wanted to put my work-awesome into my personal life. How to do it? Ask the Magster! Thankfully she agreed to my interview. I hounded her with a slew of questions because I know you all want her secrets too! How can we be more confident and pursue friendships? Read on.

_______________________________________________

Ms. Stein, would you define for us "socially aggressive"?

I wish I could remember where this term came from. I suspect it was when I moved to Charlottesville - I'd barely survived the post-college wasteland in a city where I had no friends, in a city where it took me SIX MONTHS to find any friends, and I was not going to let that happen again. So, armed with the confidence of knowing one whole person in this town, I set out to make friends as quickly as humanly possible. This requires jumping many of the traditional friend hurdles.

Six months...oooh yeah, I've been there. Took me forever to find friends in this town. "Post-college wasteland" is NO JOKE! Would you give us some examples of being socially aggressive?

For instance, if I met someone and had a great conversation, instead of walking away thinking, "That person was cool. I hope I run into her again." I would say TO HER FACE, "I think you're cool. Can we run into each other again? What's your phone number? Are you free for lunch any time next week?

This line of questioning almost always leads to a joke about getting digits (everyone loves joking about this), a scheduled meal, and the start of a beautiful friendship.

That is really lovely, but how does social aggression differ from extroversion or even just plain old friendliness?

I would say it's less about the way you interact with people and more about being honest about your hopes and expectations in these interactions. Asking someone to be your friend, or to hang out with you again, is just as risky/intimidating for an extrovert as an introvert (and, FYI, the odds that someone will say no are significantly lower than you'd guess).

Also, I should clarify that being socially aggressive is not a constant state. This is a phrase/idea I suggest to people who are frustrated with a shortage of friends, or who are new to an area and really need to jump-start community.

Now seems like a good time to bring this up. I don't like the word "aggressive." Can we do something about that or is it my problem?

HA! You realize, that by interviewing me on the subject, you're helping spread this term?

I'm fond of hyperbole. And of re-purposing words - especially taking something with negative connotations and turning it into something entertaining - can we call this redemptive grammar? (I'm sure someone could take issue with that as well.)

But, essentially, this is supposed to be fun. If it's not fun for you, don't use it, and find something that works for you. I won't be hurt or angry. My main goal is to help people break down barriers to community.

Helping spread this term and the attitude behind it was precisely what I wanted! Now we're getting somewhere. Oh, I love redemptive grammar. I think we screw up the way we define words these days anyway. I also used to have friends who would redeem a place or situation by going back to it after a time for sort of a re-do. I think that is beautiful. Redeem on. You certainly are politely in people's faces, but what about when the tables are turned? How do you feel when someone is socially aggressive to you? Or do you even notice?

Oh, I LOVE IT! And I encourage it!

One of my friends, every time we get together, she says, "Maggie, I love spending time with you! When can I see you again?" I don't think I could even consider feeling insecure in our friendship, because she speaks so often and so clearly about how much she enjoys it. This is a beautiful thing!

Oooh, and I love people who are forthcoming with their affirmations. I think that is a major part of being socially aggressive. Affirm someone else in their awesomeness and how much you would love to continue getting to know them. How long does it take you to friend someone on Facebook or search for their Twitter page/blog/high school information after meeting them?

You know what? This question makes me wish I had a smart phone. Because if I did, I would find someone on Facebook while having that first conversation, friend them, and then high five about it. (Interviewer nods in agreement. High fives are The Best. She gave one to a co-worker today just for walkin' through the door.)

When someone you just met friends you on Facebook, they are affirming you, they are saying, "I think you're interesting enough to take this vague, innocuous, culturally-mandated step toward friendship." There is no reason not to affirm someone in that way! Does it cost me anything to send a friend request? Sometimes, yes, and in those instances, I might pause, realize that all I would be losing is some perceived sense of power, a power which is totally in my head and which I don't actually want to be a player in my relationships, so I'll send the request just to remind myself that power plays are dumb.

(It might be useful to go back and re-read that whole exchange, imagining Barney Stinson speaking instead of me.)

You are so baller. Listen to you being awesome. I'm going to bottle up some Maggie and sell it. Or just post your words. Most people can probably get on board with being socially aggressive with the same gender, but what about with the opposite gender? Doesn't it get tricky then? I so wish it didn't, but can one be socially aggressive to same and opposite genders alike?

My first reaction to this question was, "I WISH!" But I knew that would be insufficient for your blog readers. Let me attempt to break it down.

[Disclaimer: I am speaking purely in conjecture, and do not even pretend to be an expert in this area.]

Guys, I have good news for you. This stuff works on women. Most of my friends are women, and they LOVE being affirmed and knowing where they stand in a relationship! If you think a woman is great/cute/fun/amazing and want to spend more time getting to know her, you can and should say to her, "I think you're great/cute/fun/amazing and want to spend more time getting to know you!" There are two possible outcomes: 1) she will be stunned into silence because, unfortunately, this sort of honesty isn't something she's come to expect, or 2) she will shout out, "Yes! More please!" and will tell all her friends how much she respects you for being bold and upfront.

How does this work for guys who just want to be friends with women? Well, um, they probably wouldn't fall as much under the category of people with whom you should be socially aggressive. Even though it's a bit off topic, I'll throw you a bone. You can appreciate a woman with whom you are just friends, but you might want to really harp on how much you appreciate *being her friend*, and how *your friendship* is a great thing, and, isn't it great the way we can *just be friends* and not have any drama? It might feel a bit heavy-handed at times, but I don't know if y'all understand just how attractive an honest, affirming man can be. (I think I just heard a lot of "mmhmm"s from the crowd)

Women, I do not know what men want, but I suspect they appreciate a no-drama, no power-playing approach to relationships, romantic or otherwise. To give any more advice than that, I'd have to tell some incredibly incriminating stories.

He, he. That sounds like a great idea for a future post! Have you always been socially aggressive? If not, how and when did you start?

Oh no. Definitely not. It's learned behavior. I think everyone is capable of this! (I must agree here. I decided to throw caution to the wind and put this into action. It WORKS. It has been a great couple of months seeking out others. The success of Ms. Stein's tips and the amount of fun I've been having were really the impetuses behind interviewing and sharing her views with the world.)

But this question (and portions of another) remind me of a conversation I had with my college boyfriend, who was, to me, impossibly confident and courageous in relationships. When I asked him where that came from, and why he wasn't hindered by insecurities, particularly about what other people thought about him, he said, "Maggie, you have a choice. You can believe that other people are either for you or against you. I figure, since I can't read their minds, I might as well choose the option that allows me to interact with them in freedom and confidence." (Total paraphrase. He might not have used ANY of those words! This was a whole decade ago, and I have the memory of a goldfish.)

I hope this offers you more freedom and confidence in social situations. Be! Aggressive! B! E! Aggressive!

He is brilliant. That is the most encouraging bit you have shared with me over the last couple of years, and I am glad you included it here since it is the backbone of social aggression. Initiating with others is tricky and sometimes a difficult thing, hence the interview, but this perspective moves us into a whole realm of freedom we may not have known. It turns our timidity into liberation, and our reluctance into possibility. Thank you so much for sharing your life experience and wisdom with us.

_______________________________________________

Now, you heard her! Get out there and meet some people!

This interview is solely intended to inform, engage, and entertain. Neither Ms. Stein nor the author of this post take liability with any negative responses you may receive. Furthermore, negative responses should be minimal, and if they aren't, just send 'em to me!

This is what happens when you want a snack.

2011-12-07T15:16:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately, there is not a picture of the first toaster. I can assure you that it was trash-worthy when I was done with it. We did resurrect the poor tortilla while waiting outside in the rain for the fire department to let us go back in the building. At that point, all was okay and people were safe so I couldn't stop laughing. This is where we pick up...

When God said His ways were beyond my imagination, He wasn't kidding.

2011-12-05T22:27:00.000-05:00

All year and probably longer, I have been intentionally asking God to show me how grace abounds without regard to circumstance and the ability to be thankful no matter what His plan may be. Even more, I have been asking for a change of life and growing self-discipline. More and more I am coming to realize that God doesn't just change your life. He doesn't just grant you self-discipline. Instead, He cultivates a heart and mind open to change. He changes circumstances and asks you to keep up with his oh-so-perfect-but-not-necessarily-easy plan. He gives you opportunity after opportunity to practice self-discipline, and then when you fail, because you definitely will, He gives you more opportunities. If I am going to change, I may not get an easier or "better" row to hoe. I may have to change how I see what I have been given. I don't have to perform perfectly; I have to keep seeking Him regardless. I seek Him and I thank Him for what has been given and for the work He is doing to conform me to His will. Paying attention and being intentional about how we treat others, how we treat ourselves, how we seek community and beauty and all good things, how we live this amazing life...in those things, I am displaying gratitude to Him. A content and peaceful heart is all grace bubbling to the surface. And still we may be called to sacrifice, to die to ourselves and our plans. We may have to die to our habits and our treasures. Even in the hardship and the struggle, we can see blessing and goodness. We can see glory and power. Our every failing and imperfection opens us to mercy. All is peace which passes understanding. All is grace.

Today my grace was the visit to my doctor. He is so warm and welcoming. I felt a little like the prodigal son trudging my way back home, and yet, I was met with open arms and a celebration. He was so complimentary about how I have done this month. Yes, I was honest about my very many shortcomings. He kept emphasizing that it is process and going to be a long one. He understood that I wouldn't have it perfectly already. He knew that changing my sleep was going to be the hardest. He did give me another lesson in biochemistry and physiology. We talked about electrons, alkalines, and cytokines, y'all. It's nice to have a doctor who gives me a lot of time and really explains why he wants me to do some things that seem so unconventional and sound crazy to (most) outsiders. Now since I'm sure you're wondering what new things I am going to have to incorporate, which I will list from least to most crazy-sounding (though the reasons for all of this, I am totally behind even if I do not include them all here...it would take far too long!).

Get some magnesium oil to rub on the bottom of my feet before bed nightly. Take a foot bath of magnesium sulfate weekly. I should start drinking an alkalized water each day. Basically I should put 1 Tbs of apple cider vinegar or some alkaline drops into a glass of water. Doesn't that just sound appetizing! Lastly, I need to ground myself. Grounding (or earthing) is exactly what you are thinking of in regards to electricity. I won't go into the whole theory, but humans were meant to be more with nature than we are and we lose a lot of what the earth has to give to us. (Yeah, a friend called me "a little crunchy granola" several days ago, and I know much more explanation is going to make me sound even more so) He told me to have 30 minutes of barefoot time daily since we can become grounded best in that way. Since it is nearly winter, he told me some other options via several earthing products out there. There are earthing sheets and mattress pads that you sleep on...after you've plugged into the grounding part of your electric outlet. With bare legs and feet, of course, so you can get the full benefits of grounded electricity running through your body while you sleep. Electricity running through your body! That's crazy! You could also get a grounding/earthing mat to place your feet on during the day. I ordered the kit, which comes with a free book about the theory, so I will be able to share more later and hopefully some benefits I see. Though, he said that since I am young, I may not see as many differences as some of the other people he has treated. The claims and customer reviews are unbelievable. He told me that he started prescribing this to lots of patients after he kept doing research and realized it would be beneficial to more than one sector. He had someone with lupus, and it went away in 3 months. THAT IS INSANE. Her husband had a genetic skin disorder on his face, and it went away because he was sharing her sheets. He had thought that because it was genetic, and had been told this by many doctors, there was no hope of curing it. Many with heart disease and diabetes have used this. Some going through chemo have used it to help ease their fatigue and it also does some crazy things in your body that help pull fluid off of the body, which apparently accumulates with chemo. I saw pictures of cells of a couple of chronic disorders and one with some serious heart issues, and then after 40 minutes of grounding. The cells were COMPLETELY different. You have to keep grounding though or your body will go back to how it was after several days. We were made to run around outside with bare feet and to have nutrients from the earth absorb through our skin. We were made to have all of the points of our feet that are connected to the rest of the body (think Eastern medicine reflexology) be stimulated by the ground and not by rubber soles. We even looked at a picture of which parts of the foot correspond to the heart and lungs and how those prominent areas are there because they were made to continually touch the ground and be recharged by the earth. We kept going through parts of the body and how everything connects and is meant to work. How the changes from the 1800s and after have taken that away from us. He kept pointing to how our bodies were beautifully created and designed and how we can tap back into that beautiful design in very natural ways. That's a plan I can get on board with.

Two posts in one evening, I must be mad!*

2011-12-04T22:04:00.000-05:00

First, I have to admit that I had been doing relatively well with the changes from my doctor. And then I wasn't. The walking and stuff I am definitely doing well with. My ankles and feet have been so sore, but I'm keepin' on keepin' on. What I should be eating is still going pretty well. But my goodness, there are a lot of changes. The sleep and eating at weird times of day hasn't been that great. Actually it's been pretty awful. I have done yoga some and I can tell a difference. I think yoga's going to be one of my "things" because it is really challenging. The video for today said to do it when you have loads of energy. Hmm...should have looked at that earlier in the day. Whoops? And then I realize they're going to want me to do some of this:

Yeah, I'm not there yet. But, I'm totally going to get there. I hope. You know where else I'm going to get?

Every time I see some of the poses, my eyes bug out a bit and I just think to myself, "HOW in the WORLD can they do THAT?!?!" And these are no exception. But I'm going to work toward it. I'm reaaaaally far off, but this is so crazy that I might as well shoot for it.

Anyway, I go back to the doctor tomorrow. We'll chat and check in on me. I think that the stuff I'm going for is actually getting better and there's a lot of other related stuff that we hope to treat. But I'm pretty nervous about tomorrow. He's going to talk to me about another topic and have a whole list of other stuff to incorporate, and I've already done so poorly in some areas that adding more to this just seems daunting. It can feel a bit unfair at times if I think about having to completely change eating habits to fix this problem. Then to add onto that the other changes he told me to make. And now whatever changes he's going to suggest tomorrow. It's a lot to keep up with and a whole heck of a lot to handle. I felt so "go get 'em" in the beginning (and sort of off and on) but mostly feel as if I'm crumbling under the pressure. There's so much of the rest of life that demands my time and energy, and these things I need to change and do completely change all of my very deeply ingrained habits. It's so difficult to change habits. SO difficult. I'm an all or nothing kinda girl, but I knew with the massive amount of change, I would have to give myself some freedom not to get it all right or else I would just give up. Even that part is really hard. It is REALLY hard. Also, this calls for so much energy and so much of the problems and issues mean I have hardly any energy. Most would disagree if they see me, but I do a pretty good job acting. Part of the ironic part too is that I really feel like sleeping much of the time if I could, but this also throws off my ability to rest and sleep. It feels like fighting an uphill battle. So instead, I don't sleep. I fill up my planner and exhaust myself even more.

It feels dumb talking about this when most of my friends are dealing more with unruly two-year-olds or juggling home and husband and careers or cancer and a long-distance relationship, for goodness sakes. But, to me, this is like New Year's Resolutions on steroids. It's a crazy amount of goals and new habits. And it seems insurmountable. So yes, I am still sharing it, and I appreciate your happy thoughts sent my way.

*Mad, of course, being said with a very British voice and meaning "crazy" or "insane"

Rules were made to be broken

2011-12-04T21:37:00.000-05:00

Remember how in the 30 kind things for 30 years, I told you we put change in parking meters? Let's keep that hush-hush. I found out that it's sort of illegal. We are robbing the city from the parking ticket fees it could have gotten. Rules, rules, rules. Breaking them makes it even more fun :D

Pretty. Accurate.

2011-12-03T16:25:00.000-05:00

Found an existential doily online. I like words and embroidery and combining seemingly dissimilar things. This rings so true.

Thirty is going to be the BEST!

2011-12-01T00:45:00.000-05:00

I just turned thirty. I'm not freaked out or depressed. I don't care to still say I'm 29. I'm not one of those women. I'm embracing it because God's been incredibly gracious to me. There are bumps in the road, and sometimes potholes and sinkholes, but I love where I am and what He's taught and been teaching me. I love the clarity on much of the tangled mess of the past and the broader perspective I've been given. And I love this fresh zest of life and scope on intentionality and facing fears. I love the vision and hope for a future. And because of that, I'm in a very good place.

I rarely get to plan my birthday celebrations because a certain friend I met my first day of ninth grade (in homeroom, even) hijacks them to provide amazing surprises. I usually do not want people to go to trouble or effort but just want to spend a day seeing my friends and family and doing something enjoyable together. I end up getting that and much more. This year, though I tried to plan it myself, was no less. Said friend arranged for 25 friends and family members to send me pieces of a word picture (I think?) puzzle and some have come from folks I did not expect and some with such words that drip sweetness. Can you collect sweetness in a jar to sell? I would be a trillionaire. This friend also suggested a fun day filled with doing acts of kindness because she knew I would enjoy it. Enjoy it, I did! I do not share our activities for you to think we are just so nice or show off but we did some fun stuff and had some interesting reactions. So, here's my list of acts of kindness:

Fandango gift certificates for Facebook friends who also did acts of kindness during the day and shared them in comments.
Took tray up for woman at Bodo's (she was kind of flabbergasted but so thankful)
Donation to Goodwill
Cupcakes for workers at AutoZone (tried to replace my headlight bulb and had trouble. Asked a worker to help and even he had trouble. He was really grateful for cupcakes!)
Cookies to the office staff at my chiropractor's office. They are always soooo nice! They really enjoyed the gesture.
Cookies to the staff at Habitat because that organization is near and dear
Held doors open
Gave a balloon to a little boy in Spudnuts (Sarah had never tried Spudnuts in the many times she's visited Charlotesville in the 7+ years I've lived here!...plus, Spudnuts comes in to play later.)
Left a balloon and note for waitress at lunch
Gave a Beth Moore book to Katherine that was practically new and found recently at Goodwill (She loves some Beth Moore.)
Took cupcakes to one of my favorite labs and my officemates. Got lots of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"s and some questions about party and turning 30 and all. I also found out from our COO while giving him a cupcake that I had just been approved for a merit raise. HA! Fun surprise for me! Apparently the request had been in for a little while, but I had no idea and he'd literally just printed off the letter and signed it when I walked into his office. If I believed in the prosperity gospel, this would be all "give more to others and receive more" kind of crap. But it was a welcome Woohoo! in my day.
Handed out Laffy Taffy and jelly bracelets on the street (and then everywhere else we went for the day). Hilarious and some college girls LOVE some jelly bracelets. And I'm just now realizing I could definitely be 12 years older than them. I could have babysat them. Oh my.
Left notes of affirmation on random cars. This one is kind of hilarious. I can't imagine what people thought when they read them. I did at least note that it was a random act of kindness at the bottom.
Sent my parents to dinner. Mom tried to tell me to call them back and have them reverse the charge on my card. haha.
Bought Sarah some Gearhart's because she has a favorite treat there
Put quarters in expired or soon expiring parking meters near the Downtown Mall
Left a balloon on a newlywed's vehicle. Someone had drawn all over their windows so why not join the fun :)
Letting cars in front of you at those weird hidden driveways or during traffic
Dropped off a book for Maggie on how to be a rockstar (not that she needs tips, but you know, she's in a band and has aspirations. Found it in the kids' room at the Gordon Ave Library Book Sale recently and chuckled thinking how she'd love it. She also got some jelly bracelets and funny 80s glasses from the party. She's ready to embrace her inner rockstar now!)
Dropped off Spudnuts to a fire department, which was so funny because we couldn't see in the door and I opened it RIGHT in the middle of ALL of them gathered in a circle having a meeting and an abrupt voice from the man the door nearly hit. But they were really appreciative...all 30 or so of them...for that box of 6 doughnuts. HA I had no idea they would ALL be there or that I'd need WAY more doughnuts for that dropoff. I thought it was one of the smaller stations but perhaps several stations were meeting. I don't know. Dropped another box off for post office workers right as they were heading into rush hour at the end of the day.
Gave out coupons at Bed Bath & Beyond
Got some drinks at the McDonald's drive-thru because doing nice things all day makes you thirsty AND to pay for the person behind me in line. The cashier was so confused. He said the woman would be confused. And haha she only ordered like a side salad or something that was just over $1.
Made donation "to save a child's life" at the box outside of McDonald's window
Left quarters in the change compartment at some vending machines (and then kind of assaulted a man with my "HEY! DO YOU WANT A DRINK!" He nearly fell over he was trying to walk away so quickly.)
Return carts from middle of the parking lot and other side of the shopping area to the right store
Vase of flowers and a note for my roommates and one's sister here for the week
Washed windows of a car at a gas station while they pumped gas (the woman and man were surprised but enjoyed it)
Quarters in a dryer at the laundromat, gave quarters to someone (definitely confused like a lot of people when I started doing something, but after explaining myself and shoving quarters his way, I realized that um, he didn't speak English. HAHAHA He was probably REALLY confused.), taped quarters to the pay phone and put some in other slots around the laundromat. I got so quarter happy that I tossed one on the ground outside of a store that night so someone would enjoy picking it up another day.
Left a ton of pennies in the "take a penny, leave a penny" tray at a convenient store
Took a set of coasters to the guys' house (they don't say they need or use coasters, but I found a cool, old map of Charlottesville at the library book sale a couple of weeks ago and wanted to make coasters, even if parts of it were falling off. Thought the guys would find them to be the coolest and would be a fun gift for them.)

What a fun day :) Some people did refuse things, but then again, we live in the U.S. and some random girl is walking up doing stuff for you or giving you stuff, and I get it. That's weird. We also tried to yell out encouragements to joggers, but no one could hear us. We got a good laugh cheering them on...and then people standing at bus stops, people really wearing their bright yellow boots, people crossing at crosswalks, people walking or biking or sitting or basically doing anything. Thanks, Sarah for the great idea and company! Thanks friends and strangers for indulging me! They say that what you do and who you are with on the first day of the year is what you will do and who you will see the whole year through. Maybe it's the same for birthdays :) That's what I'm hoping for the big three-oh!

The Boy Who Lived...and lived...and lived...

2011-11-26T23:28:00.000-05:00

My heart is still racing. Those last hundred or so pages really get your blood pumping. I finished the book. Amusingly, as I closed the cover and my dad asked if I finished (after teasing me earlier tonight about how quickly I must read and such), the commercial for the Deathly Hallows Part II Blue-Ray came on. He was just about to ask what this was all about and I just pointed at the tv. Battles, sparks, challenge. I think he was interested. I think this calls for me to watch the last one or two movies again soon. With all of the playing with nephews, I had not anticipated being able to finish until at least Wednesday, though my very loose goal was my birthday (Monday). But then I ended up reading about 500 pages today, so there's that. ;) Really took advantage of their nap time and after they left tonight. I think I will have to pick up books from my shelf with fewer pages for the next month, and maybe less adrenaline rushes. If only I could read with this gusto all the time, I would be through my gigantic book list. Now, I rest. Or crack open the last half of another book I have going...

Y'all! It's about to get real at Hogwarts!

2011-11-26T20:07:00.000-05:00

I'm totally going to finish the series by my goal, fyi. Other books have been pretty good, but the last one, OH the last one. I cannot possibly recall most of my thoughts while reading but wanted to share some (I am not going to relive the first half of the book because this book is just TOO MUCH). Most of you can relive it with me since I'm in the 1% who haven't read it all (yet!). Yes, OCCUPY HOGWARTS! You are the 99%! I am the 1%! Wait, that's not how it's supposed to go...

Ron stormed off. Grrrr! These teenagers really need to get a grip. Hermione, you are sometimes obnoxious, but you are also amazing. Harry, you are cheeky; don't be a jerk. Yeah, you have some of the answers and a window into You-Know-Who's thoughts, but you're supposed to close them. You also should know not to jump into an icy pond with a Horcrux around your neck. You stupid boy. Woo, Ron! Woo for people helping out and shuffling them to and fro safe locations! Woo, Dobby! I knew I loved you. I was so sad when you died. What good deeds you did. I'd give you a sock, if you were real. When they run across Dumbledore's brother and get loads of information and help back into Hogwarts, that was a good sign. Then Neville summoning all of their friends and how many showed up. Sniff, TEAR!...Wham! Bam! Spells galore! Protect the school! Get the kiddos to safety! Gather people and gumption! Find that diadem! Such good themes too: fierce loyalty, camaraderie, love, faithfulness, leadership, devotion, fidelity, allegiance, uniting together as a team, etc. It is about to great crazy up in Hogwarts. But Dumbledore's Army, I have faith in you, and I'm with you to the end!

I started counting my blessings and ran out of fingers.

2011-11-24T00:48:00.000-05:00

I am unabashedly overwrought with gratefulness and thankfulness this year. This is what happens when more grace and peace than you have ever known comes to dwell with you. This is what happens when you let go of fears and hurts, when you release them from the power they held over you. This is what happens when you surge ahead, seeking and cultivating, initiating and intending. When you shake off the obligations and tasks and people and material goods that do not bring you joy. When you embrace people without building walls or waiting for them to disappoint, betray, or reject you. When you seek simple pleasures and enumerate your very many blessings. When you begin to really see all God's gifts as Very Good, and even as gifts. When you begin trusting more wholly and offering of yourself without reserve. When you know without a doubt that you did nothing to stir the change within yourself. This is what has happened to me.

Euphoric, lachrymose gratitude.

A chronicle of intuition and adoration

2011-11-20T01:00:00.000-05:00

Sweet friends are visiting this weekend (One of my heart friends and her husband, who is also a dear friend, and their 2.5 year old son. omg he is sooooo cute. I'm Auntie Andrea. You just haven't lived until you have one that age pointing at items and counting for you, singing songs, coming to you with the doe-iest eyes to ask if he "may please play now"...too cute. And you know how I've talked about wanting an Asian baby? I'd want one like him...or the little sister he's expecting. This is beside the point, but you do have to know how ridiculously adorable he is.). They used to live in Charlottesville so Bodo's was on the list of places to visit.

After we all ordered, I was waiting at the counter for my food. He walked over and took my receipt/number and told me to go sit down. I didn't think he could manage all of the trays so I said I would stay to help. But he told me to let him be a gentleman and allow him to serve me so I could go to the table and catch up with his wife. That was a precious moment and so very appreciated. (Men, were you listening? Take note.)

It is also amazing to see how they have grown as a couple, as people, and as a family. I remember having to interpret women for him so he could understand his relatively new wife. "Andrea, she said ____________..." "Yeah, when she said ____________, what she meant was __________." We've had many of those conversations. Because she is one of my heart friends, I could sense what she needed or desired and would sort of coach him along. I may have called him one day after a short hike/chat with her to tell him to have a bath ready for her when she got home, a dress picked out, his own shirt and tie ready and on, and after she relaxes and gets ready, to take her to the Melting Pot for a nice evening. Of course, all of our conversations were not for big communication issues or romantic and caring gestures, but there have been a ton. I think that is why the counter exchange meant even more today. He knew that she needed some time with a female adult. Time with a close friend, even partially uninterrupted. So he willingly jumped up to get us napkins and refills. Later he ran around outside with their son so we could stand off to the side and talk.

Of course, this gesture was wonderful as he was caring for me and obviously his wife. It also reminded me of how we see two becoming one. He knows and anticipates her needs and works to provide for them. If that isn't one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen, I don't know what is.

Along the same lines, we went to a friends' house for dinner with the hosts and another couple. It was really great to see these people and get to catch up, chat, laugh. It was a good time. Before we served our plates and ate, the hostess said she would like her husband to ask the blessing realizing she shouldn't play favorites, but she just liked him best. <3 They often make statements that show their adoration and affection of the other. I am certain they have their problems like every couple, but I have no doubt they treat each other as the "most special thing in all of creation." They get that very crucial part right. (Yes, that quote was reiterated in my blog recently and from the education class at church. I'm pretty sure this will not be the last time I use it either.)

There are a lot of marriages that go wrong. There is a lack of consideration in marriage, in relationship, in friendship, in general. There is a lot of disrespect and condescension. So when I observe examples of what is true and honorable and right and pure and lovely and good and virtuous and praiseworthy, I try to note and encourage these things. This is my chronicle.

Book 6!

2011-11-18T11:15:00.001-05:00

I am so glad to have moved past book five of HP. Young teens are whiny and obnoxious. I'M TALKING TO YOU, HARRY POTTER! I am in book six (Half-Blood Prince) and am glad to get a little more back story on "You-Know-Who" and his life as Tom Riddle.

But HA! They sure do a lot of snogging in this book. And Lavender Brown...really, Ron? That was quick.

I am still on track to finish the series by my birthday, which I'm sure seems like a strange deadline.

And then this happened today...

Managing managing.

2011-11-17T22:55:00.000-05:00

I haven't written about the vegan diet in a while. Partially because I felt it was sort of the same thing day in and day out, and I didn't have amazing recipes to share. I settled in. I got comfortable. I got lazy. I have cheated.

When I went for a check-up in August, the new doctor I was seeing asked for a percentage of my compliance. Bells went off. Compliance?! You mean......you were not expecting me to operate at 100%. You weren't expecting perfect?! This is not a have to situation?? So the first two months, I had been very compliant, unless restaurant bread was made with milk or something like that I had no knowledge of. Once I knew that I was not expected to be perfect all of the time, I loosened up. Work and other things have been stressful, and I needed to just not manage something as much. It is like I was in hyper drive all of the time, and I needed a break. This all is actually a very good analogy for life, hardships, sin, suffering, etc. I will not go on this point much here because that draft was entirely too long.

The new doctor doesn't seem to care much if I eat certain amounts at certain times of the day or if I have some caffeine (but I still know the reasons behind those and should get back on the straight and narrow). He doesn't share much of an opinion about ingesting soy, but I still try to limit that because I am more informed about what it will do in me. As part of the zero-medication-and-fix-the-root-of-the-problem plan, the new doctor emphasized sleep and exercise as of my visit last week. As you can see, it's nearly midnight (well, days ago when I started a draft, it was). So I need to do better at that. And the exercise is being worked in small spurts throughout the day, but I should make a formal plan.

I cannot say I am thrilled with the emphasis on these two aspects, not because I do not need them but because it just means 2 more parts of life to be strict about and manage. I'm also a rule follower. I need parameters, expectations, accountability. If I'm not getting it, I am so thrown off. (I don't even like to admit that...or to acknowledge how many contractions I've used in this post already...but both are true.) And in August the parameters became less defined so I dabbled a bit in the forbidden. I don't want to manage every aspect of my life as a super-J (part of my personality type...the organized, structured, bordering on OCD/OCPD side) because I have no problem going overboard. Or for getting uncontrollably overwhelmed with the number of things in life to moderate. But for my livelihood, I really should. I should manage to manage.

There are just a whole bunch of days that it is hard. Much harder than it was the initial few weeks. I know that I feel a lot better in a number of ways on the plant-based diet, but hey, you know how good cheese (etc) is.

If sharing is caring, what is not sharing?

2011-11-17T00:34:00.000-05:00

(scene: grocery store...or basically any store or street corner this time of year) "Would you like to buy a box for Thanksgiving to send to _____________ for families...?" Wheels start turning as I think, "Um, well, I gave something extra to my church and then something to some ministry folks I support and then there's the family my small group is providing Thanksgiving for and these other needs I just heard about and that person who ran out of money the other day I gave money to and these are all right here in our midst and not in some unknown location around the country....and...and...and..." (where "and....and...and..." sounds a lot like "but...but...but...")

Do you ever get here? There are so many needs around the world and out our backdoor. Sometimes it feels overwhelming seeing the vast number. We can be planned givers or spontaneous givers. We can pick a cause or give to individuals we know or go through organizations. There are so many ways to give. And I suppose the point is for us to give...not really how we give. Unless the how is cheerfully, and then yes, how too.

We also should be stretched by giving. Giving inside of the realm of our comfort cannot touch the amount of growth in trust and faith we gain by giving to the point of sacrifice. I doubt any of us really gives to the point of dire sacrifice. But when we have to say "no" to do or purchase some things because we have been so generous with others, there are such blessings we cannot possibly foresee. Personally I like to plan about 70% of my giving for the year and then give to causes that arise as they do for the rest. Some plan much more of their giving than I do. A co-worker prefers not to plan at all, and instead, she gives every time she is asked. It may not be a lot, but every time she is asked at a fast food restaurant to buy a paper Shamrock or sees a beggar on the streets or hears of any need, she gives.

However I decide when and where to give, that is something there is freedom in. Or should be. We pray and ask for guidance in how we disperse our Maker's money. We ask our Creator to create in us a heart full of gratitude and generosity. And I am pretty sure the details of giving decisions are so small, which is why we can each determine our giving in very different ways. There should be such freedom in this. Such joy. And yet, I am asked to buy a box for Thanksgiving for some non-local family, and I feel guilty for declining. How do you get around that? My mind gets it, but not my heart. How does one not feel sadness for not being able to contribute to every need heard about? How does one hear a story about real, real need, and not pitch in?

How do you make these decisions? How do you balance your compassion and your checkbook? I am not so curious as to how/when/where you decide to give as I am about how do you decide when and how you say no and how you feel or cope with feelings when you decline.

Y'all, it feels like Christmas!

2011-11-12T21:05:00.002-05:00

You read about the hike, right? I'm feeling good. Practically invincible.
The Hobbit arrived today from www.paperbackswap.com (a fantastic site I owe thanks to I think Maggie and Laura for introducing me to). The book is in like new condition, which is perfect since I intend to keep it after reading. First time reading Tolkien. Yeah, I know.
I finished two books today. They have been decent reads, but now I can focus a little more on HP to finish the series this month.
My leg warmers came in the mail. Now I just need an acid washed or other appropriate skirt and my other digs to complete the outfit.
I had an incredible nap!
You probably have not known this because bleh, why talk about it...but I've been involved in a lawsuit for the last number of years. It's also made this year challenging in a number of ways. Anyway, not the point! I got news today that the case is officially closed. Thank the good Lord. *exasperated sigh* That lasted way too long. And the bill for the lawyer is less than one-third what I was initially quoted. I've been saving my little pennies for a long time, but with a recent surgery too, cutting into my savings was whew...well, let's not even think about it because hey! It's not that bad!

With all of these good things, I feel like I should play the lottery!

7. (late night addition update) I started following a blog from someone I found. I'm not quite sure how, but I saw a 31 days to change something on another blog and went to this one on 31 days of purging. This woman is amazing AND she just seems to be the sweetest. It's been fun and encouraging to read her posts on other topics too. About three weeks ago, I commented on a post to win a book she highly recommended. She's also packing up to go to Cambodia to love on some children with her husband, who just...and I mean during this month...had a heart attack! And still she's being an encouragement to others right now and planning to visit these little people. Well, as part of her purge, she was giving away a book of hers (On top if this busy amazing life, she also writes a bunch of books) for only the cost of shipping. I ordered two and emailed her tonight to tell her I'd PayPal'd the shipping over to her. I threw in some extra because, hey, she worked hard on her books and she's trying to figure out how to get to another country to give more people grace and goodness. She just emailed back and asked if I'd had a chance to read her blog from earlier today. HA! No, I was busy with numbers 1, 3, and 5. But I did and I won the book from several weeks ago. Today has been too much fun!

Looked like a trail, tasted like success

2011-11-12T16:20:00.001-05:00

I realize what I'm about to post is not really that impressive for all of you normal, active folks; however, it's a big deal for me. And it's my blog :)

I never really went on hikes as a kid unless it was something small at camp. Sure, we tromped around the woods behind my grandparents' house. There was a creek and huge rocks to climb over. It wasn't a far walk though, and I definitely got the bejesus beaten out of me after "falling" (er, another cousin and I got pushed in by his big brother) into the water. Between that and having to wait by the fireplace at my grandmother's for my clothes to dry while watching daytime soaps, the future lure of that walk was less enticing. I hiked several times in college and after. I thought it was a great time (usually) and figured I would continue since we have such lovely trails near Charlottesville and some of the friends I was making enjoyed hiking. But after I broke my leg, my ankle has been so sore and lacked such stability that I just haven't done more than walks on the Monticello Trail or other practically paved paths.

This fall I looked up a lot of hikes to go on by myself. Ones that were slightly low in challenge and not terribly long. I had planned to go by myself because I know I am slow on unsteady ground or on inclines. My ankle just doesn't bend some ways, and if the footing isn't sure, neither am I. I figured it would be best to try while I was alone in case I needed to take a lot of extra time or needed to turn around and head home. But the weekends I had planned on ended up filling up with other things. A friend was coordinating a hike today and after my weekend plans were cancelled, I decided that there was nothing like the present.

Worst case scenario would have me sitting mid-path, listening to rustling leaves and waiting for the group to come back. But I set out to conquer this trail. The elevation gain was not too bad, the trail was only 5 miles. Check, check. The reviews made it sound slightly rocky and that the stream would be quite dry in the fall. Most of the trail was very rocky though. I doubt it would be too noticeable to you normal folks, but with every rotation of my ankle, it was to me. I did not get to look around much while walking because I was focusing on the ground ahead. Focusing on the rocks and the leaves and how they covered a lot of ruts. We had to cross the river six times. Six. The first two times, I was able to take the high road and carefully walk across big rocks sticking out of the water. On the third crossing, I could not rely on my ankle's stability and balance to let me stretch or jump far enough to hop on a rock that was only a point stretching out of the water. So I walked back across the progress I'd just made, walked up the river a few feet, rolled up my jeans, and slowly traversed those slippery rocks beneath the water. Much easier path for me even if slippery and unstable and oh-so-chilly...so I did that the three crossings on the return too. It might not be the suggested path and could have seemed ridiculous to the people I was with, but I didn't sit my butt down and wait for them to return to me in an hour. Nope, I crossed that river so I don't really care how I did it. The way I chose was still plenty challenging to me.

It was a beautiful day for a hike, too. I iced an ankle and the other foot when I got home and expect some soreness but overall, things went exceedingly well. The trail brought its A-game, and so did I.

What autumn is supposed to look like:

(My camera batteries died; I had to wait until I got my phone and we were leaving to take pictures. Therefore, there are no pictures of the trail or lovely stream. The first two were of the lake created by the dam to store water for Charlottesville. I love the lighting and the changing leaves. The bottom picture was of a tree in the neighborhood after I enjoyed some time with a book in the gazebo this afternoon.)

we are here. we are now.

2011-11-11T20:46:00.000-05:00

(Note: I started this post several months ago and kind of forgot about it. It just was a ramble and not near completion. There were no capital letters. I'm going to just let it go though and post as is. I need to not always seek a finished product.)

there has been such a surge in recent years of getting back to real food and craft and simplifying...a desire to nourish body and soul instead of filling with the world, which is what we may have thought would "fix" things. with so many inventions and such technological progress in the 1900s, we want a throwback to the olden days. to the days of our grandparents. we coupon and save money. we look for deals and stay at home and homeschool. we look for organic foods or foods without pesticides and foods that come from animals who get to roam and get exercise. meat and produce that comes from real farms and farmer's markets. farmer's markets have been around but it was less cool to go to the huge one when i was 8 than to go to these small ones with less farmers but equally good stuff these days. people make their own beer or cheese or knit scarves and hats and gifts. they reuse materials and upcycle. our grandparents did the same but would say they were just using stuff. they did not grow up to throw away stuff. in those days, curbside trash and recycling were nonexistant. perhaps because there was less packaging, more using, more reusing, etc. they helped their budgets and the environment, not because they were being especially wise or conscientious, but because that's just what you did. otherwise you might have to pay at the dump to dispose your stuff. maybe the worst thing for trash and cluttering our land is not just the temporary packaging most materials come in now but the availability of trash and recycling pick up. it doesn't "really" cost people much to keep tossing stuff. it doesn't cost much time or money. it certainly doesn't cost much in effort. maybe we should make it harder on people again. or i guess we could go on with what our society is currently doing...making it cool to knit and recycle and upcycle and clip coupons. at least our generation won't be such a waste. i wondered about us for a long time. perhaps we are getting back to our roots and priorities and what is important. maybe folks will question life and seek practical, purposeful living. maybe they will seek what is important. maybe what goes around really does just come back around. maybe the years of waste and want were needed to lead us back. i feel we are on the edge of the land of promise. the land of hope and significance. this moment holds a great weight. may we move forward earnestly.

Release and receive

2011-11-08T10:52:00.002-05:00

Didn't I also find it amusing and comforting that this was the November 7 Jesus Calling:

Of course I did! And I am sensing much mercy as these changes were brought on a little at a time. Over years, in fact. Mercy that I have been desiring simple living and getting back to the important basics. There is a sweet kind of grace in transformation. It may be a long road and a hard path, but I believe the journey worth it. I will remember that when I'm eating strange things like rice and beans for second breakfast. When I'm trying to build a lot of muscle and taking a crazy amount of a vitamin that can act as a steroid. I'll try to remember that when I'm icing ankles and saying "no" and not clearing my Hulu queue.

I started this post last night but had to cut myself off to get to bed so I had to tweak my image this morning. I did not get to sleep when I should have, but it was 1-2 hours before my usual so that's progress. AND I did cut myself off. Progress. My morning was a little rough. I'm going to start waking up increasingly earlier since today I was near the end of my first breakfast time range. I did get up earlier than usual though. In no time, I should be doing all sorts of things in the morning before work. It's going to be momentous!

"New Andrea? Are you somehow getting MORE awesome?" (1)

2011-11-07T23:45:00.000-05:00

Folks, the era of the New Andrea continues/begins. I've talked about the vegan thing. I've talked about being intentional and being who you want to be and not necessarily who you are/were. I've talked about a lot of things, and I doubt you're just holding on for my next words. BUT you should be...'cause I ~~am going to~~ need you.

After that amazing doctor I saw back in June '09 left and started a practice, I went to one of his colleagues at UVa. He was great, but he is now gone too. I didn't care much for teaching a new fellow who is unfamiliar with our treatment approach about it because it has been a very long fifteenish years of having doctors not know about these chronic issues or how to treat the problem. I have done enough research myself that I have considered on occasion going to Medical School for similar stuff or an Eastern Medicine school to treat issues holistically. So, after that doctor left, I quickly made an appointment with that first wonderful doctor at his new practice a little over 30 minutes away. The drive would be worth it, right?

My appointment was this morning. I have never had another doctor spend AN HOUR AND THIRTY MINUTES with me. It's sort of amazing. We talked about the past year and a quarter. He drew charts, he explained stuff, he listened, he asked questions. He was beyond amazing. I cannot describe to you how wonderful it is to be getting this type of care after such a long freaking haul. And to have hope. To think you might be able to fix a chronic problem. To be told that if you follow the steps for treatment that you can CHANGE YOUR CELLULAR DNA. Isn't that just crazy? Epigenetics is fascinating. So!! Andrea is going to change her DNA. (2)

I think the reason I expressed needing prayer for the fasting and going back to the plantsplantsplants diet is because I know that I get tired and it takes a lot of effort to maintain (in many ways). I also knew that the doctor was probably going to add a couple of things to that based on our very first conversation. I was so right. (3) Basically my world is getting rocked. It may not sound like a big deal to you, but I feel like I am going to have to seriously change the way I do most things and do a lot of preparation. Just being conscious of these decisions and being so intentional all of the time is draining. BUT this is what I'm working on so here goes...

The actual "what" to eat was an issue in the beginning. Good challenge, but it's easy to get lazy or want something else. I'm back to it though I'm going to be slightly loose and forgiving. (4) I thought I would be screwing up the progress if I had something with milk in it (5), but he told me a percentage to shoot for of completely vegan and so I do have a tad bit of freedom. However, one of the most important parts of the treatment is going to be really hard...completely changing my schedule. I am to have my first meal 1.5-2 hours before I normally even wake up. Oh goodness. This night owl is a bit sad (6) about having to start her days much earlier. I am to wake up and have something to eat before my feet hit the floor. Who even cares about eating at that time of day? Bleh. But I stocked my nightstand with random foods. Then I am to eat very specific amounts (7) throughout the day at 2-3 hour intervals depending on what and the amount I am eating. It's so formulaic, but it's going to be hard to keep up with. It's easy to get busy at work and forget to eat until later or to need to plan around times I'm getting together with folks for lunch or dinner or social activities. I think I'm going to need a bigger purse to carry around a pantry...I mean, I am going to have to eat at least 5 times a day just at work! That's crazy business. Speaking of purses, I have to change to a smaller one. Who would have thought? Long story but I have to carry less on my body. No book for the bus stop, I suppose. A good opportunity for me to put some audiobooks and music on that iPod I got a while ago and just walk. I'll be up early enough that surely I can manage to do this several days a week.

Along with that, I need/wanted to start doing more or other activity. I have been walking some and wanted to start back trying to jog. I've done some research and had a game plan, but scratch that...it's on hold. Though I did not go in for back, leg issues, apparently things are oddly related so we're treating some of that too. He had me stand so he could look at knee, hip, shoulder alignment. I sat on the table and he looked at feet and mostly pronation. He had me lie face down and was able to tell what kind of back issues I've been having without touching me and just looking at my back...through a sweater, even. (8) Back issues apparently are strangely related to the internal things we are trying to fix, especially because all of the nerve endings for organs connect to the spine. Basically in order to fix some of what is going on internally, we're fixing my back. Which means also fixing my legs and feet because that damn right ankle/leg has caused way too many problems (9). I have to start walking differently so I can fix that and hopefully the gait will help some of that domino effect. It took so much time and effort walking to work this morning, and parts of my leg and foot were so sore! We're building up some muscles that will be needed so I can walk properly and thus, the other problems will subside. We are also trying to work on the ankle joint that has been such a problem. Until this is worked out and the whole area strengthened, I should not put any undue stress on that joint soooooo no running. BUT I also got a prescription for yoga 4-5 times a week. HA. What kind of doctor tells you to do yoga and a number of times a week? Maybe all that time I'm going to be up in the mornings will be used for something productive and rejuvenating. I was also told other exercises to do for my leg and to go to the chiropractor several times before coming back for my check-in.

I have a big ole packet to read and implement, and a very strong dose of Vitamin D to take. A bunch of drops under my tongue every morning. Apparently I may get a crazy burst of energy from this. (10) Forewarning and apologies. I'm probably going to need that burst of energy after waking up and foraging my nightstand for nuts and fruit at o'dark thirty.

Wanting to be more intentional and reaching out to others, I took some muffins to several families last week. One family lives in my neighborhood, and I had never met them. I actually emailed the husband, but I do not think he had gotten it...so I just showed up at their door. HA. Who am I? But it was a lovely time, and I have some new quasi-friends. I saw a name of someone in my church's parish email last night and that she works near me and with one of my favorite faculty members AND lives in my neighborhood. I whipped off an email and invited her for dinner tonight. We had a great time, and I have a new friend. It was a little scary for my often hesitant self but so rewarding. I think I can keep this going! There are other new bits of myself I had wanted to develop just as goals for the year and life and then there's that I'm turning thirty soon thing so there are dreams and hopes I intend to make happen. Or at least strive toward them.

I also have to get more sleep, especially for those early mornings. I'm going to have to just let it go and not worry about responding as quickly as I'd like to emails and saying no to some social things so I can work on the rest of our plan and make sure I'm cooking and gathering a mass of food ahead to pack and take with me daily. I'm going to try to live a little more in the freedom, which I never give myself enough of. If you want to change our social catching up to one of my many meal slots of the day, I would love that. If you would like to walk with me at some point, though I will be a bit slower to make sure I have proper foot alignment, that would be lovely. If you want to ask me or grill me with how it is going or keep me accountable for doing things like going to bed, sticking with the meals, doing some yoga, please do. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that my fasting is either going to still be 48 hours but every other week instead of every month or three, or I can cut the hours down to 36 and just do it weekly. (11) I do not have to stick to one way or the other, but it is a lot more fasting and planning for that. Bonus: I do not have to plan or take my gazillion meals to work those days though. And again, prayer and encouragement welcome because my strength for all of this has dwindled and I am going to have to rely solely on Another's.

If anyone made it through this entire post, kudos to you! It was a bear. I have no idea how I'm going to put all of this into practice, especially having a preview of what we are going to talk about next month at my appointment and MORE stuff to implement. It is too much to think about at one time so I am going to try and take it a day at a time. I thought it so appropriate that Katherine sent me a quote this morning about being present-minded and not thinking about the past or future so much AND I got another quote in my email "travelling as fast in one direction as she can go before she has second thoughts & goes back to doing the same old stuff" (12)

Here goes....
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(1) Honestly, can't I put President of the Maggie Stein Fan Club on my CV?
(2) Yes, that was in third person. No, you shouldn't mind. Also, it's not just about the liver anymore...it amounts to so much more.
(3) This is where I'm going to need some help because oh, boy...it's a lot. Prayer and encouragement welcome.
(4) Katherine shared some great words a week or so ago about efforts, and they were so freeing and needed.
(5) For example
(6) a lot sad
(7) as far as calories and protein/grain/vegetable/fruit make-up each meal should have
(8) Aren't you kind of amazed with that and think it's so wild??
(9) It probably was a major factor in the plantar fasciitis I've been dealing with in the other foot for nearly 9 months, and some of my back, shoulder, and hip issues.
(10) I apologized to some the other day who may have never seen me hyped up. My co-worker thinks it's ludicrous and that some people must not know me at all. Well, folks, you may get your chance very soon.
(11) How did I forget that?? That's a huge part of the change.
(12) by Brian Andreas. He writes poetry and blurbs that I love and get delivered to my inbox daily. How perfect is today's?? I hope you have been enjoying my footnotes. One day, I strive to write a post with more footnote(s) than actual post. It will be awesome and hilarious.

Weep you no more, sad fountains

2011-11-03T22:46:00.000-04:00

Weep you no more, sad fountains;
What need you flow so fast?
Look how the snowy mountains
Heav'n's sun doth gently waste.
But my sun's heav'nly eyes
View not your weeping
That now lies sleeping,
Softly, softly, now softly lies sleeping.

Sleep is a reconciling,
A rest that Peace begets.
Doth not the sun rise smiling
When fair at e'en he sets
Rest you then, rest, sad eyes,
Melt not in weeping
While she lies sleeping,
Softly, softly, now softly lies sleeping.

The author is unknown and words were penned prior to the 16th century. However, if you did not already love it, you should know it's also in the 1995 film of Sense & Sensibility and Sting recorded a version.

Give us this day our daily bread

2011-10-31T01:29:00.000-04:00

I sit and I thank the One who provides for what He gives, expressing gratitude and summoning grace. He has always given what I have needed for today, though I often am not satisfied with just the present. But I am learning, and sigh...it is a hard process. I want to will away my need for knowing and wondering more, but my labor is in vain. I've never been promised more than what I have right now. But isn't that what asking grace is all about?

When I set out on the plant-based diet two Junes ago, it was framed that I may go "back to normal" after a few months or at most a year. Fourteen months passed. Yes, I did break the plan occasionally, but overall, plants plants plants. Then, gallbladder fiasco enters. It is still so strange to me that most folks have many (usually hundreds) gallstones, regardless of whether they have had attacks, and I had the one. One! What irked me most is that I had been eating predominately plants for over a year. That should have satisfied my gallbladder, but it did not. The stone may have developed long before but was only now causing issues. No one really knows. I think it was some strange thing God is using to get me back on track.

I definitely had loosened my boundaries over the summer. Then, August. With that, I did not restrict myself to solely plants. I have also still been experiencing pains. Possibly related to muscle and tissue layers rejoining. Possibly my bile duct wanting a stop to my erratic diet. Either way, I really need to start back eating plants. I had decided a couple of weeks ago that November 1 would be a good date. But why wait? I do that...I plan for something in the future, but that goes against my now talk. So, it started before the fall of dusk. I am starting back the way I started then. With a fast.

I cannot tell you how not very excited I am about fasting or going back to a plants-only lifestyle. Yes, I was enthusiastic about a lot of benefits previously. Yes I found many good recipes and new vegetables, grains, spices, etc to try. Yes, I think it supports some moral, ethical, social, environmental, physical issues I value. Yes, fasting also gives good physical benefits and mental and spiritual clarity. However, I still enjoy meat. I still love omelettes and cheese. Yada yada.

It is, in some ways, more effort to think about a plants-only life as it is not the mainstream mentality of our country, restaurants, people, etc. Then, there is planning and cooking. There is saying "no" when you want to say "yes." I could go on, but the point is, I'm not thrilled about having to go back to this again. However, I know that it is the plan for my life right now from the One in whom I am going to put my trust. He has my best interest at heart, and for some reason, this is part of His plan in bringing glory to Himself. He may have a different plan for my future. In five months, He may show me there is no need to continue eating only plants. Or perhaps, He will restrict it farther to just raw foods. I have no idea. I am not to worry about that. I am to trust for today. So, I am continually praying to trust Him for my physical and metaphorical bread or manna for just today. I ask you to pray for me as well, though mentioning an eating plan seems frivolous and petty. Hardly worth your bother. But I need strength and faith. I need that for the challenge of eating plants when I do not want to. I need it even more for trusting my Giver for His today.

O, Birther of the Cosmos, focus your light within us -- make it useful
Create your reign of unity now
Your one desire then acts with ours,
As in all light,
So in all forms,
Grant us what we need each day in bread and insight:
Loose the cords of mistakes binding us,
As we release the strands we hold of other's guilt.
Don't let surface things delude us,
But free us from what holds us back.
From you is born all ruling will,
The power and the life to do,
The song that beautifies all,
From age to age it renews.
I affirm this with my whole being.

(An Aramaic translation of The Lord's Prayer from Matthew 6.)

babies and dating...not in that order

2011-10-23T23:10:00.000-04:00

Yesterday my parents and I went to Devil's Backbone Brewing Company for lunch after watching a crazy obstacle type race at Wintergreen. They have delicious food and are in a beautiful setting. I had gnocci with butternut squash, Brussels sprouts leaves, carrots, smoked chicken, roasted tomatoes. So. Good! (Let's plan a trip to go for dinner and tastings.) While we were eating, I could see and hear a table near us having a special moment. A couple had given some older folks, I assumed to be their parents and grandparents, gift bags. As they pulled out shirts, I could tell they were announcing a pregnancy. I think I guessed it before most of the people opening the gifts. It was just precious watching them figure out they are going to be grandparents, great-grandparents, and a great-aunt. Tear.

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I thought you would be interested in this post from the week's fast. pray. list. One of the sections I think is particularly important as you date is "Leave things better than you found them: Build him up, whoever he is..." Once upon a summer, I went on a few dates with a guy. We were not be right for one another, and I got together with him one evening to talk about that. Mainly I wanted to thank him for how he had treated me while we had been getting to know one another. I have been treated poorly and just kinda eh, so when I was treated well, I needed to share my deep appreciation. He is married now, and I am sure he treats his wife with the utmost care. You should always treat someone so well that if you part ways, you are still respected and can be cordial. He left me better than he found me, and I am still so grateful.

Living what I value

2011-10-23T00:11:00.000-04:00

More and more I realize that those things we hope to be one day will not just happen. We must put in the work now. Go slowly, know you will fail some, and just DO. Just go for it. The worst that can happen is that these early days will either be good practice for refining your self or skills or you will learn/decide you do not actually want to do this particular thing after all.

I want to write that book someday. I am not starting it tonight, but I am writing. This is not exactly an example of my best work, but words on paper, er screen, is a step in the write (ha!) direction. I want to create. Paint, craft, sew, nail, glue. I did not make a masterpiece tonight, but I did make a wreath. I was resourceful in using some scraps from my chair project and some cheap fabric from Goodwill. I want to express myself with song, and I've hummed Video Killed the Radio Star all day. I want to run again. I did not run today, but I did challenge my ankle right up and down a few ski slopes (no snow, of course). It's quite sore tonight, but it will be sore. It might be sore even if it wasn't compensating for that metal and scar tissue inside. So, I'm going to keep increasing activity in hope. I want to get married someday so today I responded favorably to a man, though in the back of my mind I can think of a dozen reasons why now is not a great time or he's probably not the right person. Isn't overcoming that junk running through our minds most of the battle? It's what keeps me from pursuing these things I want to do and be. It is what keeps me putting it off until tomorrow. It is what keeps telling me that one day I will do ________ or be ________ but doesn't actually allow me to put anything into practice today.

There is a saying, Someone who is busier than you is running right now. You could easily replace running with anything from your hopes and goals. You can also replace busier, though I think most of our excuses amount to not having time, with Someone who has less money or resources, or Someone who has had a hard life or Someone who has a debilitating disease or Someone who has less talent, etc. It all comes back to being intentional in our days and purposeful in our actions. In not giving in to our hesitations and in being more proactive than reactive. So, this is what I hope to continue striving toward: a life of saying yes to the right things and no to the rest. A life of purpose, mindfulness, and awareness. A life valuing and pursing intentionality. I need you to come alongside me. I need you to hold me accountable when I have slacked off again and encourage me. Join me. Live what you love.

When you can't go to the world

2011-10-20T01:07:00.000-04:00

It has been a hectic few days at work. I have been tired and sore, and with the rain today, I longed to come home for pj's and a nap. Even so, I knew I did not want to miss tonight's dinner for international students. Every year there is a dinner given for the first year international students at the President of UVa's residence. It is such a lovely house filled with antiques and resting on top of a lush hill. The students always feel so special to be able to attend a dinner in their honor. I went to a couple of these while President Casteen was at UVa and never saw him at the dinner...the President's Dinner. Dr. Teresa Sullivan became President last year and was there meeting and greeting loads of international students and faculty/staff. I was really impressed, not just that she was at the dinner last year and this year, but at how she talked with students and how genuine she was with her guests. She believes that international students are an important base of students and that it is our job to befriend and encourage them with hospitality to our country and university. It is a breath of fresh air.

It reminds me why I enjoy working with and serving internationals, which I do not talk about often enough or hardly at all. Sometimes talking about this makes me feel as though I'm bragging about things of interest and how I serve and love others. I prefer serving and volunteering without making a big deal out of it, but I am coming to realize that sometimes I need to tell others so they can join in and participate or just so others are aware of activities and groups available in the community. I did this with Habitat as we were trying to help my family finish their own, and I plan to again. I enjoy working with Habitat and find much value in their program and what they seek to do in and with families and the community. The last two families I have been an advocate for were both refugee families from other countries. I have seen them learn more English, have babies, connect with people, get promotions, and make a life for themselves in the U.S. It is so beautiful.

I have always been interested in travel and other countries and cultures, but when will I be able to visit all of them? How can I have some type of international impact? For a long time, I assumed it would be as some type of missionary overseas. But I have realized that is not necessary. It is not out the question, but it is not necessary. Would I likely go over to war-torn Central Africa or the Middle East? Probably not. But I get to support and love families from countries in each of these areas who might have been hand-picked just for me to get to know right in my backyard. Well, not just, but you know. The same can be said of my experience working with international students.

I do a majority of this through volunteering with the International Hospitality Programs (IHP). We support students (graduate and undergraduate), scholars, and spouses (mostly women) who are unable to work while here with their husbands and wives who are scholars and students. A note about this last group: I have heard comments in the past about these spouses being lazy or draining our country's resources; however, these spouses are unable to work in the US because of strict visa regulations...off soap-box. I have been a community host to students for several years here and while I was in college in NC. I am able to get to know some sweet and interesting women from various countries, and because I attend other events, I get to meet so many students from around the world. Welcome to the US, new friends! Yep, that's how I look at it (a of all, don't let my dad hear me say all of this, and b of all, I'm going to start singing the quote from the base of the Statue of Liberty any moment now). If you are interested in more information about this program, jot me a line. I'm happy to share.

Because I am somewhat shy in a lot of situations, I mingle and talk to small groups of people. I do not like to go around announcing who I am to various groups. I don't raise my cup in the air and shout over voices at some group as I walk toward them. I keep it low-key. I suppose that is why I was a bit surprised when someone tapped me on the arm and introduced herself. I got to chat for a bit with Yoke San Reynolds, the VP and CFO of UVa. She was very nice and a good conversationalist and told me that she had been looking for me (first of all, how nice is that?! Someone was looking all over for me?? How in the world do I get that pleasure?). I probably should mention that I have been on the board for IHP chairing a couple of committees for a few years and last year was elected President. That is still amusing to me. Just too funny. But since I enjoy unexpected twists of events and this organization, I accepted. So it is not just that she was looking for Andrea but for the President of IHP. I kind of forgot that people would know or do that at this event since I have been a normal guest/community host in previous years. Some others were looking for me too. Still...how did this happen? So funny. Such grace.

I walked a few students and a community host over to the area Dr. Sullivan was in so they could introduce themselves and then I tried to shirk to the background and fade away. Before I could, she shook my hand and patted my arm/shoulder with the other hand to thank me for the very good work our organization does for UVa and these wonderful students. I had not even told her my name so she just picked up on it from the name tag or because someone had pointed me out earlier. She is such a warm person. Just precious and hospitable. (Of course, she is a sociologist so you know...I loved her even before she came to UVa) She shook those students' hands and told them to study hard and to press on to the end of the semester, not letting up after those midterms were over.

These students may stay in the US after college, but most I talk to plan to learn here and go back to their home countries. And that is perfectly fine. Go back to their country and work in economics or social justice or engineering? Do amazing things and change their lives and the lives of others? Be a leader and impact their country for the better? I fully support this. And if God can use me in helping make their experience and time at UVa and in the US a little sweeter, who am I to stand in the way? It is a privilege to serve people from all areas of the globe and to do it right here in Charlottesville. What a spectacular grace.

What some have said on grace and gratitude

2011-10-16T19:43:00.000-04:00

This month's thoughts from my favorite magazine:

You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before the play and the opera, And grace before the concert and pantomime, And grace before I open a book, And grace before sketching, painting, Swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing; And grace before I dip the pen in the ink. GK Chesterton

From a beautiful new journal I bought entitled "in everything, give thanks." with two girls sitting on a whale in the ocean. One is reading a book, the other is under his spout with an umbrella and flying a kite with the other hand. It's lovely and where my penned gratitude will have a home.

Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way. Native American Saying

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Mary Jean Irion

Blessings brighten when we count them. Maltbie D. Babcock

I do not understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us. Anne Lamott

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. Melody Beattie

Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into. Wayne Dyer

Thank you for the day, and for the hour, and the minute. Maya Angelou

from a leery hope

2011-10-13T23:48:00.000-04:00

As I have thought over the last year and especially past few weeks on hope, words and reminders come from surprising places. I'm meandering through a serious and worthwhile topic. Creeping along hesitantly because hope just seems too good. The past sometimes has a way of squishing and snuffing out the hope that might flame up. Living, experiencing, looking on during others heartbreaks and broken dreams. Those sorts of things have a way of stifling our positive outlook and expectations for the future. We begin to live as half human beings. We trudge along. We do okay. We smile and nod at people and our present. We buoy our hearts merely gazing at the horizon. The horizon we have succumbed to never reaching.

As the wise Dumbledore notes in the fourth book of Harry Potter, "Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it." Yes, that's right; I told you I was getting reminders from surprising sources. An adolescent fantasy novel speaks of pain and loss and difficulties as it all moves onward. It marches forth in hope. A hope of justice and restoration. So do we. But, much like this quote, we often numb the pain and keep trudging along and doing okay. We are existing and sometimes appear as living, rarely as thriving. I have known those people. I have been disheartened and tearful on their behalf. I have been one of those people. Numbing the pain no more lets you live on in hope any more than focusing on the pain does. The goal, of course, is to move through it and to let it move through us. Hurt, disappointment, loss, betrayal, rejection sear and scar. They do not have to wither and shrivel us up. We are challenged; we learn; we grow. We gain character, maturity, wisdom. We gain the ability to cope and the ability to open ourselves up to the future. We become vulnerable to the what-ifs and the uncertainties.

And I feel that is the path I've been on. Finding and maneuvering my way, figuring out how to express and work through life's unpleasantries, becoming real and vulnerable with God and others, and especially myself. It is all in strides to move through and have it move through me and to gain and restore hope. It is such a beautiful process--these broken bits regaining vitality. It is not easy or comfortable, but it is beautiful and substantial. But wise Dumbledore speaks again, "Curiosity is not a sin...But we should exercise caution with our curiosity...yes, indeed."

We may come to a place where we consider hope and the plan God has for us as good (e.g. Jeremiah 29:11), and it is. It is so very good. More than we know. Often the verse is repeated to those we know going through difficult times. We sometimes clutch onto the verse ourselves. Surely this circumstance is not where it ends. Surely God's plan for me is good. Surely he listens to the prayers of the faithful and turns His ear to the righteous. Surely this dream and that dream are going to come to fruition, and if not, then He has something even better for me. And well, yes...surely all of these things are true, but we I must not live only in them.

We mustn't get caught up so with looking forward, learning and holding fast to hope. That does have implications in not living in the present, but moreso, I think what it does, at least for me, is construct another idol (Now is my plug to mention how anything can be an idol. Any part of this process can be an idol and which portion lends to idolatry can change at any moment.). The active working out heartaches and refocusing on how to hope for the future are very good and necessary. Hope is good and necessary. But it is not the end goal. We are to glorify at all steps along the way. Let me not lust after what I desire for the future while I lose interest in today. Let me not forget that to live in the present means to be in the present. It is a fine balance, this coping with the past, living with a present-mind, while longing for the very good work He has started in me to be complete at the day of Christ.

Pen to paper.

2011-10-09T01:53:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I like to post snippets. This is current me.

PS if I owned a bookstore, I would call it Unabridged.

songs, TMCS, and being known

2011-10-06T12:18:00.002-04:00

As Brian Wilson came on the radio, I attempted to tell my co-worker about the song. How it combines some of my favorites as the Barenaked Ladies have such clever lyrics and diction and on and on, and they sing about Brian Wilson, who is a musical genius. And then they throw in some psychology. My co-worker interrupts and imitates what he thinks my voice sounds like, 'And then at the end! They discuss how to organize some shelves! And then they bring up some new changes to Gmail! And then to top it off!! They answer some complex math equation without a calculator, and o-m-g, isn't that just the best?!" (and the conversation goes on)

Needless to say, I'm always amused at work.

I thought about you today.

2011-10-05T00:58:00.002-04:00

TMCS

If you were a dog breed, you would be a collie. (imitating my voice) "Okay, sheep! You are too cute! Let's get organized. Get together and now huddle. Okay, now! You...over there! Let's line up!! Hooray and other fun stuffs!!"

Seriously, you laugh so much with or without caffeine or just because it's Friday or because you recycled some paper, I just can't imagine you with alcohol or drugs in your system.

I said something with the intent of being inspirational. He replies, "What? Did you watch Mighty Ducks again last night?"

Do you wake up every day thinking, "I'm going to save the world today" because I want some of whatever you've got.
_________________________________________________________________
Random bits of me + a treat

I realized last night that I have a memory foam pillow, which is my very favorite, from 13 years ago. I got it for Christmas not long after they were released widespread. It cost way too much for a pillow, but it is amazing. THANK YOU, NASA!

At a meeting tonight, we were discussing next month's meeting (usually the first Tuesday evening of the month). Someone said that we could not have it on November 1st as that is Election Day. Someone else said they had it written in their calendar for the 8th since they are helping at the booth. Several people went back and forth about which date the election would be held saying that elections are held the first Tuesday of the month. I finally (yes, I said finally, because I keep telling people that I am shy in many situations) said, "It has to be the 8th because elections are held the first Tuesday after the first Monday of November so it cannot be on the 1st." Yeah, that sorta thing stops the talking in the room, and someone blurted out, "Well, you get a gold star from Civics class!" It was an awkward moment. And I'm sharing my awkwardness with you.

My favorite book of the Bible has always been Philippians. Much of it is because of how it deeply resonates with me. My church's sermon series for the year will focus on this book, and the first weeks keep reminding me so much of some of my very favorite verses. My high school ensemble also sang a song featuring these verses at the end of every spring performance. I cannot read the verses or listen to this song without tearing up, much like when I sit here and think of all of the amazing things I have been able to see in your lives, I have a hard time keeping a dry eye. The song is written by someone in North Carolina (woo!) and not terribly well-known so finding a video to share was hard. Not because there aren't any, but because they are not great quality. This one will have to do :) You only need to take a listen (watching not necessary). I also would love to hear this with a good men's TTBB choir (8 or 12 people optimally). The verses referenced are Philippians 1:3-6, 9-11.

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always with joy in every prayer for you. I thank my God in all my remembrance of you. In every prayer with joy, I thank my God for you. I thank my God for your fellowship in the gospel from the very first day 'til now, I thank my God for you and I am sure that He who began a good work in you, will bring it to completion at the day of Christ. And this I pray that your love may abound more and more, abound in knowledge and judgment that you may approve what it excellent to the glory of God. That you may be pure and blameless, filled with the fruits of righteousness, which comes through Christ Jesus. I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always with joy in every prayer for you. I thank my God in all my remembrance of you. In every prayer with joy, I thank my God for you. I thank my God.

Age is just a number?

2011-10-02T00:40:00.000-04:00

What have I learned while blogging about topics people respond to? TV shows or books and dating. Sometimes I get emails instead of comments or someone will talk about a recent post in conversation. I find that fascinating. The topics that people resonate with, and the random conversation starters from folks I had no idea even knew I had a blog. So interesting.

Today's topic is multi-purpose but will tie my most popular topics together. At some point in my past, I had heard an equation that told you if someone was in your marriageable range. What truth is there to an appropriate age range between two people who love and commit to love? Aren't we all different, and isn't the range subjective? Apparently the equation has appeared in a number of movies and books, including Malcolm X and Good Wives (Louisa May Alcott). Note: I did not actually go to the sources to verify because I saw them in my web search and I know the equation has appeared in other movies and books, likely Made-for-Lifetime-movies.

The equation (supposedly) for ideal spousal age difference is X = (Y/2) + 7. Obviously I was curious about my ideal age range and calculated it: 21.5 - 44. My, that's a huge difference. (If you did not follow, put your age in for Y and solve and then put it in for X and solve. Ta-da.) This, of course, is all hypothetical, but could I actually date someone who is 21?? He likely would still be in college or barely out. Unless he is wise beyond his years and more mature than his age, I just cannot fathom it. And what about the 44 year old? There still seems to be quite the age difference. I'm thinking about narrowing down options to buy a new vacuum; he's finalizing his pension plan. You know, for instance and all.

The whole bit about age difference came up recently at work and also this week on Parenthood (here is my shameless other purpose to this post...to find out who watches the Bravermans). Sarah started dating her daughter Amber's old teacher, who is 12 years Sarah's junior. Sarah's mom gives her some reassurance, and Amber basically tells her that it's okay and to have fun. But wow...it's still a big difference.

All of this being said, what is your take? Is there such a thing as an ideal age range? Should it be shorter or longer than that demonstrated in the equation above? How do you decide (or do you?) if someone is too young or old for you to date...or for one of your friends?

gentle-men

2011-09-29T00:13:00.000-04:00

Flip on the TV, and watch a woman roll her eyes at her husband or order a man around with a nagging, bickering tone and then catch up with her girlfriends by telling them what an immature idiot she lives with. Those views are common. I do not doubt that you could find a lot of that in real households too, but we know that media definitely influences how we see others. But I know there are men who do not fit this profile.

A friend walked with me back in the restaurant after I had gotten to my car and realized my Styrofoam carry-out container was still sitting on the table. Maybe he offered to walk with me because he's married and knows to do these things? Or because he's from the South? Another friend, though, gave one of our party his jacket so she wouldn't shiver through dinner. He's single and from the North. So obviously chivalry can have little to do with stereotypes of relationship status or where one grew up. Quality men can be, and I think are, anywhere.

Instead of clamoring above other voices to share all of the negative things particular, and in general, men do, we should applaud more loudly and often the efforts of the gentlemen, who do not get enough praise. I aim to be more intentional in carrying forth a positive view of men and appreciating my male friends, who in one way or another, demonstrate what being kind men of character looks like. I urge the ladies reading to take up the challenge of appreciating and talking about men in a positive light. And often. We do not have to buy into what media tells us, especially in television and movies. Likewise, I urge the men to affirm their fellow men and in some instances guide them along. Encourage them in their gentlemanly ways.

And back to our regularly scheduled program

2011-09-26T21:35:00.001-04:00

I finished LOST yesterday. Part of me has no idea what to do now. I can't keep watching tv at this rate and new seasons are back anyway. Amusingly enough, I have seen trailers for movies tonight during commercials with Sayid...and just as I began typing, Kate. The finale was a bit unsatisfying at first because I was not sure what to expect, and I still had many questions. I obviously didn't want them all to be dead in the end, so that was a downer. But now I kind of like how they wrapped it up. I thought about it some and read some about the show. I could see symbolism and meaning everywhere during the seasons, but I now, especially, appreciate how much thought went into making the finale. I'm still reading stuff on Lostpedia so I can finalize the show in my heart :) Thanks to some friends, I got to watch over lunch with people! Thanks friends for reliving it with me.

Since I've been posting on LOST so much, I haven't even told you that I just finished the next (3rd) Harry Potter book. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was not my favorite, but I am hopeful for the next in the series. I just began the fourth. I should finish these before I'm thirty, right? Or I guess if middle-aged women can get into Twilight, maybe I can still read HP. ha.

One of the things going on lately is that I decided to go back and try Education Hour at church again. It sounds silly, but it was kind of a big thing for me. So was the worship retreat, which was wonderful, and I am still trying to decide whether going back to choir would be a restful and wonderful thing or just another thing to do and keep me from doing some of the things I was starting to prioritize. In any case, big steps in me, and it's all been wonderful. So glad that God has been working in that area. The education class I've been going to is about marriage, so obviously that interested me. It has been really good. If you are interested in listening to the podcasts, please visit http://www.wednesdayintheword.com/lectures/ and check out the ones called Perfect Union (the class is called In Order to Form a More Perfect Union). The teacher has been really great, and I love how he emphasizes certain aspects. He also is adorable talking about his wife. This week was my least favorite (probably because we filled in a chart and had more input from the class than being a straight lecture, but it was still good). The main thing he says over and over that has really stuck with me is about making your spouse the most special thing in all of creation. Isn't that just beautiful? And you do not have to be married to be honoring a future spouse in that way. If I get married, I'm probably going to tape that inside my bathroom mirror or somewhere I see plenty. What a good reminder. If we jog our memories with these types of statements and keep encouraging ourselves to be very intentional and giving people the right place in our lives, I wonder how much better marriages would be. What if those who said vows woke up daily living out their vows by wondering how they would show their husbands and wives how beloved they are and that they are the most special above all people and things and careers and life goals? It is a most lovely thought. So, I look forward to hearing and being challenged by the rest of the series.

LOST: 98.35%

2011-09-25T01:17:00.000-04:00

There has been so much with Lost that I do not think I can even type it all here. But I am watching the last few episodes before tomorrow's finale party. IT IS SO CRAZY I had to put my glasses on!

In most of the last season, Jin and Sun are looking for one another in nearly every episode. The desperation in their voices. In one episode, Jin gets knocked in the head and forgets how to speak English but can understand and write it, just talk in Korean. So fast forward through some craziness, and Jin and Sun do find each other. The shared look is amazing. And then they go toward one another, and she speaks...English. Wasn't that just an great moment? The bewildered look, the run, the faces cupped in hands, the embrace. I should have known that they were going to die soon. So a bit later, Sun's trapped on the sub and Jin keeps trying to save her and telling her that he will never leave her again. They have such a sweetly intense moment just looking at and kissing one another before they inevitably drown. Oh. My. Word. SO SAD! I'm losing my friends!

Then they get back to the beach and Sawyer dies. Kate crying is one thing, but then Hurley...and then Jack just walks to look at the ocean and starts crying. I'm a strong woman (though definitely a sap), but I cannot keep dry eyes while watching a man cry.

Then we get to see this woman crash onto the island way back, and then have a baby...and then another. Okay, first of all, that first baby came out the cleanest of any baby I've ever seen, and her stomach didn't go down at all so then I knew a 2nd was coming. Okay, so it's Jacob and the woman who found her and is helping kills her. The boys find other people in the woods. The other son sees an apparition of his real mother and goes on some crazy trip to follow her and finds where he came from and he boys end up splitting up. Wiggidy wack. I understand that this is showing some stuff from early on with the island, but I want more of my friends! Bring them back! The one guy's body goes into the heart of the island/flash of light and comes back as a huge smoke monster. Crazy.

Flashback. Flashforward. Flashsideways. It's all so crazy now. Widmore dies. Sawyer is alive. Jacob shows up to other people and is going to pass on protecting the island to either Hurley, Jack, Sawyer, or Kate. Who will it be?! And where did Jacob get the clothes? Now he has a button-up, which could have been found with the many folks who have come to the island, but early on when a child, where did that crazy substitute mom get stuff to make clothes? Anyway, so Jack's going to take over protecting the island. Didn't he drink from the same river they've been drinking from? I guess tomorrow is for answering questions.

85.83%--you know what I'm talking about

2011-09-20T22:05:00.001-04:00

Sawyer sees Kate during a time flash delivering Clarie's baby. Such longing in his face. Another flash and the group steals boats, which perfectly seats exactly the number of people they have in the group, so they start paddling around the island. The group catches up and starts shooting at them and right through Sawyer's paddle. He asks for help so Julie turns and starts shooting the second boat. Sawyer cries out, "Thank you, Lord!" when the time flashes and then "I take that back" when it turns out they're in a big storm. Totally LOL'd.

Jin washes up with a boat so we realize that he's traveling through time too. Which means dun dun duuuun, he's alive! And then several minutes later Ben confirms this. WOO! Jin flashes to another time and makes it back to the beach to a camp or wreck and there's a little music box playing with the dancers inside. That is a creepy moment.

They all get on the plane to get back to the island. Jacks says to Ben, "How can you read (at a time like this)?" Ben flatly says, "My mother taught me." LOL! Funniest season yet. Well, sort of. I think it's because I've gotten to know the characters now, and these moments are just showing off individual quirks :) And where is Sawyer? He makes me laugh.

They get back to the island and Locke has been raised from the dead. Hallelujah. Ben strangled John?! Sawyer was talking to another DI and telling him he's over her (Kate), and then 5 minutes later, there she was!

Sayid shot little Ben and The Others are going to help him, but he'll lose his innocence and always be one of them. Weird. Locke welcomes Ben back to the Land of the Living while older Ben is sleeping/recovering. Hilarious face. Oh, Ben. I like you now.

More story. A lot more story.

I just saw Daniel Faraday get killed. My world stopped.

Richard "There's something different about you." Locke "I have a purpose now."--good quote

Rose and Bernard have been hiding out and are so peaceful and wanting to be together. Precious.

SEASON 6, HERE I COME! (hoping to watch the finale maybe Sunday?)

It's been a long day...

2011-09-19T22:22:00.001-04:00

Well, it's been a long few weeks. I had hoped to be able to hang out tonight but after lots of hours at work, I returned home for more work. To make it bearable, I needed a little...

(You know this is a joke, but I am enjoying some LOST while I work my little heart out. I'm also zooming past episode 100-The Variable-for those keeping up with me.)

We all need water, but all wells are not equal.

2011-09-19T01:46:00.000-04:00

Let all who are thirsty come

Let all who wish receive--

the Water of Life...freely.

Amen.

Come, Lord Jesus.

Amen.

Come, Lord Jesus.

Our church is singing this as a call to worship and throughout our services lately. It is beautiful. I'm including a short video (There are many, and most are much longer. I liked the one of this group rehearsing though--richer tonality and a more full sound.)

The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life. Revelation 22:17

I have been broken; I have been mended. I have been hungry; I have been filled. I have been thirsty; I have been satiated.

I looked over the whole earth for something to quench that thirst, and I have found a well that will not dry and a water that satisfies. Come, Lord Jesus. Come.

LOST: 73.3%

2011-09-17T19:00:00.000-04:00

We are in the future! Jin has the baby back home (not island) and goes to Jin's grave. Ah. Showing him her daughter and what she says. Tears. And that little Korean baby. SO ADORABLE. But seriously, I want an Asian baby. Let's make that happen.

Daniel Faraday? Even on tv, I have a penchant for nerdy boys. (My old roommate even commented on this at dinner Thursday. Was it that obvious? ha. Well, you know what they say, we like what we like.)

They killed Alex! AHHH! Kate and Jack get engaged (future but obviously split from some other future bits we see). We find out Sawyer stays behind and apparently Claire dies because Kate has Aaron. She calls him Sweetpea, which is what my dad has always called me. He even has a song he likes to play (we have it in 8-track, cassette, and digital) with the name in it.

Juliet does an appendectomy on Jack, which I just listened to and couldn't watch since the slicing and dicing to pilfer through several layers of tissue is a little too familiar right now. But if Jack can jump up and go fight some villains and trek through the woods, why can't I? Stupid bodies. (Just kidding about the stupid part. I have a deep respect for how ours work together. I just want to bend to pick stuff up or carry things or even turn over at night without hurting. Not much longer.)

When Ben said, "I used to have dreams" to Locke, wow, that got to me. You kind of know where Ben has come from and that he's going to hand over everything to Locke. His time at the island is coming to a close, and it's just an interesting and sad moment.

So now I've gone from just seeing what's going on the show to relating to things.

Sawyer jumps from the helicopter to swim back to the island to save Kate (and the others). Wow. Good moment. Self-sacrifice is a theme of this show. And of life. We should see more sacrificing ourselves for others. We should call it something profound. Maybe "love"...

Move the island?! What?? Okay and then the Oceanic 6 make it to Hawai'i. Families greeting them?? Ohmyword. Tears. I cannot watch homecoming type shows or videos from military people coming back home without crying. I'm a sap. And then there was no one to greet Kate. That was really sad.

Hurley thought someone was burglarizing the house and picks up a statue, and his mom says "Jesus Christ is not a weapon." Oh really? I beg to differ. Funny quote though.

Dude! Walt grew up. Sawyer jumped out of the helicopter and kissed Kate first. What a moment. Who the heck are all of those people getting in the raft and why haven't I seen them before?? I mean, end of season 4 and new people? Come on.

Michael tells Jin when he's sacrificing himself to save the others, "You are a father now. Get to your wife and GET HER HOME!" Good moment. Sacrifice. They are lifting off and not able to go back and leave Jin. Then the bomb explodes as the helicopter folks look on while Sun is screaming and crying out for Jin. Doesn't that make, not just their relationship, but those moments of the real work of relationship and forgiveness even more meaningful? AHHHH! Tears. Not cool to split S4 finale into 3 parts. Honestly, that's nearly one-fourth of the entire season. And I cried several times...while working (Yes, it played to the side while I analyzed some data and crated some spreadsheets. If I have to work on a Saturday, at least let me have a little fun.).

John's in charge. Ben has to leave. Richard tested him when he was a kid and hasn't gotten any older. That's kind of weird. I guess I'll find out about that later but something with the time travel is probably at work.

PENNY!!! If you didn't have chills, something's wrong with you. "As long as I've got Penny, I'll be fine." Oh yes, Penny and Desmond are back together.

The island or rather people move through time. That's crazy. Jack said that Charles Widmore "called a boatload of people to kill " hahaha boatload. BOATLOAD! HA! Double entendre! Love <3

LOST: two-thirds down

2011-09-15T23:31:00.001-04:00

There has been A LOT that has happened. A whole lot. I don't think I can sum it up...but flash forwards?! Kate and Jack? Jack and Juliet? Michael/Kevin is back. The group split, and there's a bunch of crazy. But the real episodes that struck me...

The Constant with Desmond and Penny. The constant is the part of the equation that remains stable so I loved the double meaning of mathematical and metaphorical constants in our lives. The conversation from the past and then the present with Penny and Desmond was so beautiful. Trust can still be mustered from a broken relationship. Love can still bring people back together through circumstance, place, and even time. I may have watched the last seven minutes (appropriate for episode 77) again.

Jin finds out about Sun's previous affair, but that discussion and the forgiveness is so touching. It is always moving to watch these turbulent relationships we have with one another and then see time of forgiveness and the relationship restored. There is such twisted beauty in the irony of rectified relationships. Twisted because there was hurt, distrust, betrayal, etc, but why should we find anything beautiful in that? It doesn't end there though; there is such a sweetness when a relationship has been made right.

Such sweetness. Such beauty. Trust, love, forgiveness. I could keep writing but 'scuse me. I'm going to go get a tissue.

LOST: season 3 (56.7%)

2011-09-14T00:39:00.001-04:00

Eko died. Sad face. Ben and the surgery. Crazy. Did um Kate and Sawyer really just have sex in the open? Knowing that they are under surveillance?? Alrighty. Hurley says, "He sees the future, man." (about Desmond)

Kate and Sawyer make it back to their camp. Sawyer seeks out Hurley, who is working on a hippie car with Jin. Jin speaks to him in a bit of English and Sawyer says, "Well, look at that! Someone's hooked-on-phonics." He has the best lines. Hilarious. Some are way too sarcastic and offensively snarky; for the most part, they are hilarious.

Maggie cooked me dinner and made me be lazy. That's not part of the plot. That's real life.

Claire and Jack are half siblings! Kate's crazy plan to climb up the tree they put on top of the security system post and jump over WORKED, but seriously, she was going to shout out at Jack?? What the heck?!?! Jack's just playing football like he's having a great time.

John's dad sacked him OUT of the tall, glass building, and THAT'S how he broke his back and became paralyzed. I mean, honestly, wasn't taking his kidney enough? Geez, Locke's dad really sucks. Sawyer...hot and he reads. He can't play ping pong worth a flip though. Kate and Jack (and Sayid and Juliet) are back!

Ben's tumor was on his L4 vertebrae! That's the same one I fractured. Tiny fracture but I'm not sure how much I've really thought about until now that I could have been paralyzed if it were worse. Whew. I'm going to have to take a minute and post this later.

Penny's coming back, but someone else does instead. Eyepatch?! He was supposed to be dead! Sun finds out she might die if she gives birth, but on the positive side, the baby is Jin's! And dude, Locke's dad appeared on the island...BUT Sawyer totally GTD and strangled him with a giant chain around his neck.

dun dun duuuuuun!

Acceptable birthday items*

2011-09-12T20:19:00.000-04:00

There are others and most are found in several designs and on t-shirts, coasters, bags, buttons, bumper stickers.

LOST: Season 3

2011-09-11T19:28:00.001-04:00

DESMOND IS ALIVE!

A lot has already happened. I'm 3 episodes in, but this is my favorite.

Every moment. It is all grace.

2011-09-11T00:33:00.000-04:00

I am one of those who might be called a people person. I love people--being around them, listening to their stories, reminding them what is true about the world and themselves, and living this beautiful life alongside them. Of course, all days are not without difficulty. Do they subtract from the beauty though?

Though I am one of those people persons and get a lot of my energy from people and outside, I am also somewhat shy. A lot of people do not guess that and some see my reluctance. But the irony is not that these characteristics coexist in me, but that the very need we ultimately want filled is also the very thing that scares us. The first year I lived in Charlottesville, my roommate and I would have these wonderful discussions. Very thoughtful bits that would come out mostly just before bed as I worked on my grad school reading in my room and she ended up sitting in my door frame. I will always remember the night she started talking about shyness. She was not talking about me but about someone she'd hoped I would date and then about herself. But it is applicable to me, and maybe you because it transcends shyness. She matter-of-factly said, "I once read something about being shy, and I have thought about it. Shyness is selfishness. And that was exactly right. I am withholding myself from other people because I am so afraid of the reaction I may receive or because they may expect or want or need something from me and I will not be able to fill that or for any number of reasons that would make me vulnerable."

But we are all like that. I am shy (among other things) because often the risks of rejection or abandonment or betrayal outweigh (at first, at least) the possible positive outcome. The risks seem much more likely than the possibility of a friendship or being met with acceptance. I choose...yes, I said choose...not to love or serve someone else because my comfort is more important than theirs. No, that is not the thought at the forefront of my mind. It is mostly subconscious, but isn't that what it amounts to? Why do we not reach out to someone else? Because my time or effort or reputation is more important than befriending a stranger or making him/her feel comfortable. Why do I not stop to listen when my friend needs an ear? Because I don't want to spend the time or have to worry about him/her or care that much. It goes on. Isn't that what it all comes down to? I do not do ________ because I........

Fill in the blank with your action-word and the dots with your excuse. It doesn't really matter what either of those are though because the sentence really starts and pivots around I.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot more about how I need to become less. I hesitate, am reluctant, am scared, etc because I am focused on me. God has been breaking me out of that. And the result is beautiful. The very things I have longed for are possibilities once I get myself out of the way. Once I start focusing more on others rather than myself, amazing things happen. It is still a difficult process to continue being intentional about loving and serving others before entertaining repercussions I may encounter, but it is important. It may be the most important thing I've done all week. I am not thinking less of myself but about myself less, and God has really spearheaded this and is bringing about good changes in me. I think the process has been taking a while, and I am just now enjoying the benefit of seeing where He has been taking me. And it is all grace.

A friend shared this with me, and I love it. What great words. The relevance is really about getting rid of I and gaining a new perspective.

He is faithful. From this day on, for you there is no such thing as a good day or a bad day. There is only a day of grace. And some days the grace of God allows you to enjoy what is happening. And some days the grace of God allows you to endure what is happening. But don’t think about good and bad anymore – just enjoy the grace that is present. And out of that grace will come an expectancy. I know You are going to do something today. I just want to be alive to You so that I can see it; wait for it; speak it out; live in it; experience it; worship You in it; glorify Your name in it. There are no good days anymore; there are no bad days; just days of grace. Just days of grace. And the grace of God is going to come and bring with it the nature of God, that you might know Him. That you might know Him. That you might know Him and rest in Him, move in Him, worship Him, represent Him.

- partial transcription of THE NATURE OF GOD By Graham Cooke

LOST: 40.83%

2011-09-11T00:11:00.001-04:00

Um, I just finished season 2. What in the world?! I haven't tracked the last episodes of my thoughts as much because there was a lot of back and forth and some slower parts as far as crazy activity but more character development. Ana-Lucia is gone. Sniff, sniff. I liked her...at least somewhat...and know that girl could kick butt and would help eliminate some of The Others...but alas, she's gone.

And Libby. LIBBY!!!! NOOOO. I liked her. She was one of the good ones. And she and Hurley had something going and she was a good encourager and all. Let's have a moment of silence for Libby. .......

Okay, and Michael is such a sell-out, but he did get to leave on a boat with Walt and is promised to be rescued. We'll see. I feel like there has to be some catch.

Desmond is back, brothah! I like him so I was glad to see his drunk self back. He was seriously pounding some wine. But then he had to go to the back-up area with the key after Locke wouldn't let him insert the code. What happened to him?? Or Locke or Eko?!?!

Sayid is definitely one of my favorites. Sawyer makes me laugh the most. I mean, have you heard some of the quips he has?! Hilarious.

So, that's where I am. End of season 2. Season 3 is a bit shorter. And then I should be able to fly through the seasons 4-6 because they are much shorter. Gotta wrap up before the new seasons of shows start and I have to start catching up on them online. hahaha

Horse & Buggy and friends

2011-09-08T18:52:00.000-04:00

I have missed my Horse & Buggy pick-ups the past 4 weeks!! The 4 weeks ago I was on The Great Adventure with my mom; 2 weeks ago I was in the ER. But TODAY, I am here! And I needed produce :) Fall might be my favorite pick-up time, though we're not technically there yet. I am still not supposed to pick up too much stuff though so my other lame friend came with me to help bear my load. It's pretty funny that both of us have restrictions and some issues going on, and we set out to do what feels slightly like conquering the world but looks a lot like picking out some apples. It felt so nice to be able to go and do something normal with my friend. She's been so busy keeping up with kicking cancer's butt that we haven't been able to keep doing our usual stuff. And then I go and get all out of commission too. Now I'm recovering some and able to start driving at about the same time she's going to start feeling uber crummy. This whole give and take thing...that's friendship. I am so glad to call her my friend and ask that you continue to pray for her over the next months. She has had plenty of surgeries and is starting the chemo portion of her treatment tomorrow. You can follow her at katscloserwalk.blogspot.com and send some love her way :)

LOST: Season 2! AHHHH (27.5%)

2011-09-08T15:56:00.002-04:00

So much is already happening! Gasp! AHHH! Wasn't Jin's crazy "Others! Others! Others! OTHERS...." exclamation just ahhh. I mean, first, JIN'S ALIVE! Michael and Sawyer made it back to the island because of the current. And the guy in the hatch is the same one Jack had run into while jogging the stadium stairs. And then a BUNCH of stuff happens. We find the back of the plane folks and see their stories. Yada yada yada...

But the kicker...episode 33. Whew. It was crazy and I had a bundle of nerves. Then Shannon... :( And THEN Michael and Jin make it back to camp and bring a couple of newbies. Bernard and Rose reuniting was amazing. I am a sap. I know this. I was holding it mostly together until Jin and Sun start running toward one another. That moment of reconciliation, that did wonders for me. Reminded me a lot of the Prodigal Son. Whew. Emotion.

LOST: the end of season 1 (20.8%)

2011-09-06T17:47:00.001-04:00

I was always told I should be a sassy black grandmother, because that's what some people think I seem and sound like. Rose on here is so sassy. She told Charlie to get over himself and help them move up the beach and if he thought he was the only one with a sad story, she could tell him a pile of sob stories. Get it woman. But she totally disappears in a lot of episodes. How is she living? Is she fishing? I'm concerned. Where are you Sweet Sassafras!?

Episode 15, Claire is back and being used as bait to lure Ethan (aka Creepster McCreeperston) back after he assaulted Charlie again and demanded her return. They beat Ethan, and then Charlie shoots him before he's able to give them any information. However, I don't think he's dead. I feel like he's going to come back in a couple of episodes and stronger than ever.

Then, you remember that time that Sun speaks in English and lets everyone, even her husband, know she understands and speaks English? That was crazy.

I've been thinking for about 10 episodes, "Where is Hurley getting his batteries or how is he still able to listen to music?!" Finally, episode 17...it dies.

Then you see the one when Boone had fallen in the plane and is busted up. The puncture his collapsed lung. Then in a few minutes, they set his leg. Ohmygosh. Y'all, that took me back to being in the hospital that night when they were getting ready to put me in a plaster cast and send me home (before they nixed that plan and decided to go to surgery that night instead of later that week). They were going to set the bones that had been dislocated that evening in the hospital. Not a fun story. Involved me, a nurse, and a bathroom. They had already given me a dose of pain medicine so I didn't yell out like Boone, but goodness, putting it back in place was no picnic. Boone better be okay. I had started to like this character.

This is some crazy business. Danielle..."Run, hide....or die" and "The Others are coming". GAH! I'm kind of sad that some are going to leave on the raft. What will happen to them? Will they just die at sea?? Will they just get washed back ashore? And where in the heck did that science teacher guy come from?? I don't remember seeing him at all before.

When Sawyer tells Jack all the stuff that Jack's dad was hoping to say to Jack on the phone, I nearly boohoo'd. A last father and son moment that never got to happen, and yet Jack still hears the message.

The raft boat is launched and Vincent (the dog) tries to swim out to them and little Walt has to yell to tell him to move back. Goodness. Tears. And you just know that you may never see these characters again. I hope they took enough supplies and extra cloth for the sail.

Dynamite. I feel like Mr. Science Teacher is about to blow up.

A minute later, actual gasp, gaping eyes, hand over mouth. OH. MY. Then Shannon is trying to get down the beach with all of her stuff and the gravity of losing her brother and being stranded on the island and all is getting to her. She breaks down and *needs* to take all of that stuff with her. Her brothers things. Her brother. But it's too painful and hard to carry it all. Not the objects, the memories and the hurt. And Sayid tells her that it won't be too much if she allows him to carry it for her. To carry her burdens and pains That is so beautiful.

Lots of crazy happens in the last few episodes. Danielle takes Claire's baby we think to bargain to get hers back. She sets a bunch of traps so Sayid and Charlie will stop following her, Charlie gets knocked in the head by one of them, Sayid pours gunpowder on the wound and LIGHTS IT ON FIRE. These fools are crazy. I would never make it. I can answer some questions from Jeopardy or solve some other random trivia or game questions. Toss me in the woods and I'm d-o-n-e.

Locke is so philosophical. I love it. And he's such a structural functionalist and symbolic interactionist. Love. I think we would have good conversations...maybe debates.

Boat is found by another boat. Crazies take Walt and toss the others for dead and blow up their raft. AH! And then the hatch is opened...

I can't believe this is the end of season 1. This is why I don't jump onto trends when they're happening. I get way too invested and then I. Must. Know. What. Is. Going. To. Happen....MUST.

LOST: piquing my interest

2011-09-05T17:32:00.000-04:00

Back to LOST. Okay, so I went through episode 10, and my goodness! Claire is freaking out, she's supposed to make sure to be the one to raise her baby. Hurley does a census and about this time, I get a good glimpse of Creepy Guy, we later find out is Ethan. He's way creepier than Jack's figment of his imagination father in the suit popping around the corners. Ethan is NOT WITH THEM. Creepster abducts Charlie and Claire. What the heck?! So Locke and some others set out on the trail to find them. Locke is (pardon me) a total badass. He's going to be one of my favorites. God so help me if they kill him off before episode 120! Okay, so the search party splits off, it starts raining buckets, and there is a mudslide of sorts. Jack falls and then BAM Ethan shows up. He threatens that if Jack keeps following him, one of the two abductees will get killed. Ethan might be a super creepster, but he can throw some punches. Shortly after Jack recovers and is determined to be back on the trail, they run across Charlie...hanging from the tree. I'm not even far into the show yet and Charlie was a druggie, but I still somehow care about this character. He was kind and decent and good to sweet Claire. Jack is relentless in banging against Charlie's chest. Finally he gasps for a breath. Oh, good. I was getting sad that a decent character was getting killed off already. Whew. Rescue. I have a feeling this whole show is going to be MAJOR CRISIS! Someone steps to the plate. They almost get killed. Several times. And then someone saves the day. That is the story I am looking for. That is the story of life and redemption. I have heard the analogies of this show, and I think this is what I am most excited for.

Liberation.

2011-09-02T15:34:00.000-04:00

An email came in this morning that said, "I just want you to know that you are more important than the [volunteer group]" after a previous one asking me to please rest and shirk my responsibilities.

I received a card in the mail today that reminded me that I should take care of myself and rest. That I am not all of the many things I do. And that perhaps the Lord has really wanted me to rest. Rest, right in the middle of some chaotic times.

Liberation.

I want my bright side back.

2011-09-01T00:05:00.000-04:00

I have had some of the sweetest offers of help while I have been recovering from people I hardly even know. I know that I was much too optimistic going into surgery and right after about how much help I would need. Apparently my co-workers stood around our COO's phone listening to my crazy voicemail on speakerphone the first day in the hospital saying that I wouldn't be in that day and was on loads of pain medicine. I had been thinking I would recover and feel like everything I knew from reading and hearing about the laproscopic surgery. I just hadn't even considered that by them converting it to an "open" surgery would mean different pains and recovery times. Hurts to breathe and yawn (and sneeze and cough and laugh), and I've been getting tired so quickly that yawns are much too frequent. What happened to that bright side I was looking on? I WANNA LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!

LOST: 4.16% complete

2011-08-30T23:18:00.000-04:00

Tonight, I've watched 5 episodes. haha. Interesting show so far.

First, I love how Jack totally takes charge and everyone else also just looks up to him to make decisions and get things done. I like the flashback aspect of the episodes and how I'm getting a peek at their characters. Who is that freaky guy in the suit?! Man, Locke has some knives, and he totally got that boar. When there was the flashback and you can see that he's a paraplegic and then finds he can wiggle his toes and walk after getting on the Island, omg, didn't you just about cry? When he struts away to go find water, I was cheering him on. I don't trust him yet (hard to trust any of these characters!), but I'm still on his side. So the freaky guy is Jack's dad...or is it a figment of his imagination? Jack needs some sleep so I guess I'll find out tomorrow if that's right. Ohmygosh. WHAT is with all the creepy dolls?! Seriously. Maybe I shouldn't worry about violence before bed but creepy junk.

Charlie's tattoo says, "Living is easy with eyes closed" but I don't think that's right. It is no easier to live in ignorance, though we might like to think it is. Stuff still happens regardless of whether you are cognizant of it.

bibby di bobby di boo

2011-08-30T20:21:00.000-04:00

I have had a lot of time to sit around the last few days and will for the upcoming few so I have had some seemingly random thoughts. I am going to share a couple and will probably share more in the days to come. Feel free to dialog with me or enjoy the spurts.

FALL IS COMING! The air has been decidedly cooler for several days. There has been a light crispness in the air, especially in the morning. Windshield wipers have been needed for dewy, rainy bits that have collected. Leaves are losing chlorophyll.
Marriage. We try to ban folks from getting married. Why don't we ban people from getting out of it? I am all for protecting the sanctity and meaning of marriage, but I am not sure we go about it in the right ways.
Staples are SO uncomfortable. However, I apparently couldn't count to start with. I think I was counting dried blood and stuff because from my perspective, they stuck up about the same. Or maybe I lost some without knowing it. Hope not. Anyway...21, which is the multiple of 7 and 3, my favorite numbers.
It is kind of freeing to just cross things off of my calendar because it is too much effort to figure out how to get there or because I have been tiring easily and will need to rest. At the same time, I'm an extrovert so I am always up for company. If you are nearby and want to do something, come eat dinner with me or watch one of these crazy shows.
If you have been enjoying the Harry Potter series of thoughts and reactions, which more should be coming as I have been alert a little longer to start back reading, but a new series is coming! I added a ton of silly, pointless movies to my Netflix queue and many of the documentaries I have been wanting to see. I've also been adding some TV shows. So GET READY! I'm going to need to process at least one of the ones I just started.

Recovery

2011-08-29T22:42:00.001-04:00

Apparently recovery has made several envious. I didn't think I would need to give folks a reminder, but recovery (mine or others who are recovering from somethingorother) is not super awesome. For those who are envious that I went to bed at 11 and slept til 10:30 am then took an hour nap this afternoon, you will enjoy knowing that I get up about every hour and it takes 20+ minutes to get the 8-9' from the bed to the bathroom and then settled back in bed. Hurts to change positions or move my body or cough/yawn/breathe/laugh/hiccup/sneeze. I doubt that any who actually read my blog feel this way, but some need reminding that I (and others who just had surgery or are in some kind of pain) are not just having a blast. No need to tell me how jealous you are that I get (have to take) days and weeks off of work and can just lounge around reading and catching up on tv shows and projects. No projects getting done and I haven't even picked up a book. People are ridiculous. So, thanks, readers for not treating me like this.

In the meantime, I do plan on watching some tv shows and movies I'd been wanting to get around to. I might read. I have to work some. I will sleep and sleep some more. I also decided not to clean out my fb list based on who has cared about me. Because whether others love or care for me, I still love them and am called to care for them. And I'll ignore these silly comments some people make. In all of this, Christ's love still compels me. And it, not people, is what really comforts me.

[added] I say these things because I have watched how some have/haven't cared for a few others I know who are healing now with various ailments. It is just unfortunate how oblivious they are in how to care for someone's needs. Or that they put all of the pressure and calling and determining what and when etc help is needed onto the person who is recovering. In two cases, these people are really sick. The last thing they need to be doing is making calls to recruit folks to help them do x, y, z. So I am just sad for them that they need things done or could use some cheer, and they have to round up help. And yes, I am a little selfish still that I have been told of friends' weddings and pregnancies, they made sure I knew where they were registered for gifts, I have listened to countless stories of labor and baby poop and teething, and haven't gotten so much as a quick "Hope you feel better soon" from these same friends. Thank God for the real friends who show concern and care and journey this life with us.

No. More. Gallbladder!

2011-08-27T23:04:00.000-04:00

The gallbladder is gone!! So, so glad. I did want to have it as emergency surgery, but I am glad that it is out. I have the silly laproscopic punctures but am also sporting quite a battlescar of 11" and 31 staples. I am really sore and will have to work up to tasks but am doing really well. I should not work or drive for two weeks but may get some stuff from the office to do around home since there is a gigantic project due soon. I am also on lifting limits so I guess I won't be pumping iron at the gym for a while. Overall, everything ended up going well and I had good care at the hospital. I was already released from the hospital for good behavior. haha. And I can eat again...at least work up to normal. A number of folks left or sent messages, flowers, or popped in to see me. Very thankful!

Yuck.

2011-08-23T13:39:00.000-04:00

Things I cannot drink anymore:

Mountain Dew, Gatorade, Powerade, Mello Yello, Pineapple and Orange Fanta, Sun Drop, and Fresca.

There are probably more, but did you know that these contain a type of vegetable oil? There is a lot of talk about soft drinks and high fructose corn syrup, but brominated vegetable oil?

Why am I even drinking Mountain Dew now? Other than it being delicious (I know, scold me for saying that), I think my body has been craving it for the calories and to feel full. I have been calculating up how much I've been eating. I think the typical day lately is about 300-400 calories. It that stayed down, that would be one thing, but it doesn't. So my body wants to rehydrate and I have just been getting such cravings for yellow and orange drinks, but they don't go down so well. So I'm going to toss the one I'd opened and taken two sips of, because I probably should not be pouring vegetable oil down the hatch right now (or ever).

Makes me realize more and more how important it is to know what is in not just your food, but beverage too.

There is a plan

2011-08-22T23:33:00.000-04:00

I used to be so caught up in telling others that my life is grande and glorious. Didn't they see the flowers blooming this morning and hear that some college freshman had been told about Jesus and said He is who she had been looking for? I was great at focusing on everything outside of me and only the good bits inside of me. Afterall, in comparison with the hurt I could see in my limited scope of the world, the hard bits of life really were not all that difficult. I did not tell myself they were not real, just not as important. I was a minimizer.

And over and over again, I told others how God had a plan for their life...and it was Good. Very good. It was pure and right and beyond imagination. And I must have told myself the same script so many times. Two years ago, someone said something to me that stuck, "God's plan for you is amazing, not just so-so." How affirming. And so I live on in the hope of that plan. Hoping, dreaming, trusting that this plan is beyond anything I could think up. Looking toward this plan to unfold and be the ultimate goodness ahead. Not just a hum-drum story, but something amazing as I rely on God to bring and do His very best for me. (ultimately, it's not about me, but that is sort of a post for another day). I expect Him to show up in big ways in my Future.

I could trust in the end, in the product. But I gave half as much thought to the process. We still have to go from here to there though. Why did it seem that God's plan would be something I would see when I am fifty-five or eighty-two? God's plan is here. Now. And the process is not as grande and glorious as I always made it out to be. There are days, months of intense loneliness. There is betrayal...broken relationships, and sin patterns coming to light. There are days we wake up wondering when will _______ get better? When will I be over _____? How will this relationship be restored? People forgiven?

But the plan is where we are. We are living the plan. I am living The Plan. There are days and times when others are hurting and when we are hurting. It is easy to affirm self and others by pointing to God's plan and having a hope for a future... Right now. I want to point myself and others to Right Now. Today. God's plans to give you hope and a future have to start sometime, and I want to stop looking toward the future ahead and start focusing on the future being made now. My need and desire to be more present-minded will point me toward trust. Trust in Him that He will lead and keep me today. Instead of not sharing hurts and disappointments with others, I hope this will help us share them more--increase in vulnerability with one another. We can admit our failings and our sufferings because we know this is not the end of the story.

So I gladly go on about what a hard time I'm having lately on a number of accounts because I do not know if I have strength to make it. I do not know whether I will have a repeat of yesterday tomorrow. I must have run out of patience and grace a while ago. But I know who my Helper is. I know who sustains and rejuvenates, and who grants patience and loving-kindness. And I know that He has such a good plan for my life, and it is being worked out before my very eyes.

I have found the secret...

2011-08-22T10:39:00.001-04:00

No need to diet! Just get a disgruntled gallbladder!

You may stomach only raw vegetables and toast for days on end. Splurge on soup and toast and get rid of everything you've had in a week. Free, easy body cleanse! You do not even need special products or pills! Then, you just don't feel like eating at all, but we'll call it "fasting". Having tests run one day? Great! Means you get an extra day of no food or water. We'll call that a "perk".

Since I have now found the secret, I wanted to share it with the world. I am creating a marketing plan so that I can do private counseling and create individualized programs. You may want to go ahead and sign-up today before my program fills! Only $29.99 per month! Hurry! This offer will go FAST!

People! THE DAKOTAS EXIST!

2011-08-20T00:12:00.003-04:00

People! THE DAKOTAS EXIST! And one of them is incredibly beautiful. It was a shocker. Let me back up...mom and I went on a trip. Flew to Minneapolis and planned to drive through the Dakotas and a bit of Canada and then back to catch our flight home. We I changed our itinerary around the middle of South Dakota when we had made such good time. Initially I gave mom 7 itineraries to choose from (long story) and this was the cooler (literally...since it is summer and other was Arizona) of the two she picked. When listing it, she mentioned she would rather go to Yellowstone instead of The Badlands and Mount Rushmore. It was too pricey to fly in that direction, but once we were ahead of schedule, I knew I could fit it in. So I got to surprise her while we were heading into Wyoming :)

Here's a little map for you to follow along. I am already including a bunch of pictures so I don't want to run on much. I'll list some highlights. We flew from Charlottesville VA to Minneapolis and then head on the southern loop around the states and back to Minneapolis. I have numbered highlights I will specifically refer to.

We drove through Minnesota in a sweet vehicle rental, which seemed to have all the perks and a large, open windshield for enhanced views. Our first stop was Sioux Falls, South Dakota (1). It was a beautiful area. There are rocky waterfalls a city built around and turned the immediate area into a park. Just lovely.

We took a little trolley tour around the town, took in an outdoor music show while walking around, and then headed to Mitchell, SD for The Corn Palace (2).

Those pictures you see on the side...corn. The lettering on the signs...corn. The columns...corn. All of the inside was like a giant gymnasium with large pictures around the walls...corn. Corn, corn, everywhere! We bought some popcorn (cheap!) for our little road trip, then had dinner in an old train depot, got stuck with our rental vehicle while fueling up (weird problem and beside the point but every time we fueled up, it would not crank). Sunday we headed west to Wall Drug (this link goes to their history page. Good story!) for a kitschy bit of history. We continued on to The Badlands (3) and found ourselves practically on another planet. People were way out in the middle of this canyon type rock.

Then we drove the loop through Custer State Park for a closer look at some wildlife...

and some gorgeous views.

After some crazy tunnels and quite a feast for the eyes, we headed west more past Crazy Horse Memorial and onto Mount Rushmore (4).

Because we were not sure where we would be stopping for the nights, we did not make reservations ahead of time. We were also there during Sturgis with more than 600,000 motorcyclists and had trouble finding lodging. Perk of that one night is that we stayed in a little cabin (adorable) and other nights we ended up with suites with 2-4 beds plus pull out couches, offices, multiple tv's, stacks of pillows and towels. We didn't look for luxury, but it ended up being great. Drove through the Black Hills--through Lead and Deadwood and some other small towns and through an area with lovely views of a river and water falls. Zipped over to Devil's Tower, Wyoming (5). We did have other pictures taken outside of the vehicle, but I liked this one.

Hitting the open road through Wyoming. What a lovely state. It seemed to be a great extension to South Dakota.

We stayed in Thermopolis, WY, home of the world's largest mineral hot spring (which didn't really look all that big). So we kicked it into high gear to get to Grand Teton National Park (6). I saw how close it was to Yellowstone on the map and squeezed it in before mom, who wanted to make sure we were back in MN for our flight on Saturday, even knew what hit her! haha It was beautiful! We drove the loop, but I wish we had more time to drive through and maybe camp some nights. It really was just glorious. I took SO many pictures and am just going to include a few here.

Ahhh. We crossed the Great Continental Divide a few times. And then we looped through Yellowstone, our first national park, of course. It is also amazing. So many different hot springs, geysers, bubbling holes in the ground. So strange!

The main attraction went up right on time with the prediction of 7:19 pm, Old Faithful (7).

Did you know it used to be used as a laundry? hahaha People would toss clothes in (long ago), and when it erupted, the clothes would shoot out thoroughly washed. There were two geese hanging out about 10 feet in front of the geyser while we were all waiting. They got up and waddled about 20 feet closer to the crowd and then the steam picked up. You could almost hear and feel the low rumble in the ground and the whoosh of the steam. This went on for maybe 20 minutes before some water bubbled up in small geysers. That went on about 5 minutes and then...THEN--------WHOOOOOOSH! She bubbled and sputtered and shot into the air, welcomed by exclamations and applause and camera shutters shuttering. I think my mom was starstruck.

It is so crazy to think about how far down below the surface that water is boiling and what happens during the eruption. Temperatures of hundreds of degrees and built-up pressure just waiting to escape. The whole park seemed to be sitting on many (or just several massive) hot springs ready to blow at any minute. Whew! We had the scariest drive of my life trying to leave Yellowstone that night but were rewarded with a night place to stay and deep, heavy sleep.

The next day we drove through Montana. The western have continued the beautiful views out of the windows as we hummed along. The eastern half and drive through North Dakota was less scenic though. There were some lovely areas...and then some blase bits. We also saw signs of all of the flooding that had happened in ND and some of the funny roadside attractions like Geese in Flight (world's largest scrap metal sculpture, which was beautiful as the sun was going down) and Salem Sue (world's largest Holstein Cow--haha!). Back to Minneapolis, which means some time at...

The Mall of America. Bigger than any mall I'd been to, smaller than I expected. Smaller may be the wrong word. We were able to walk around and shop and have time leftover to hang out at the hotel. I had assumed we would just walk part of it because it would be so massive we would need a couple of days. We took 2 hours, including dinner, the first night and then a few hours of shopping the next day. Not too bad. Of course, they have the theme park inside.

And lots of huge Lego sculptures! (including one of my favorites, which is somewhat representative of our Great Adventure, too)

What a good road trip. Checked SIX states off of my list of ones to see! The ones left are: Arizona (because the airport doesn't count!), Hawaii, Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, Nebraska, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Oregon, Texas, Washington, Wisconsin. 12...totally do-able. Most are even in clusters. I also played The License Plate game, since part of the lure of the trip is that I had never seen (until this year) the Dakotas plates while on the road. I got EVERY state of the continental US (not Hawaii) and might have gotten all if I'd started playing the first 2 days and could see tiny motorcycle plates while flying down the road, and we also got 5 of the 10 territories/provinces in Canada.

Quite, a successful trip.

Airing my dirty laundry

2011-08-18T00:27:00.000-04:00

Dear future sweetie pie,

You are probably going to be all stud muffiny and service-oriented. You might even toy with laying down your life for me by

And you have probably been dreaming of a girl who sings while she does loads of your dirty socks (see picture for reference).

But, I hate to break it to you, I cannot make your whites whiter and your brights brighter. I fail at laundry. I will cook, clean, do the baseboards, make simple repairs, do the dishes, and even cut the grass. Those things I can do and I do a heckuva job (usually). But I'm going to need some Clorox 2 and a whole lot of grace to give this laundry a go.

Alternatively, if we could just purchase your wardrobe in varying shades of gray (and I bet you would look so rugged and manly all peppered up), we might just make this work.

Love and sweetness,
Feelsgoodtotakealoadoff